The End

It's time to end this blog. I started it a long time ago. I was sitting at work, rather like I am now, and I literally had no work to do. It started as a novelty, and an experiment, as I like reading other people's blogs so it seemed only right to enter the arena.

Blogs are interesting because you get an insight into how the world works and how people operate. You can learn a lot about different issues, perspectives, opinions. And there are a lot of interesting people out there.

Problem is, that I wouldn't read my own blog. There's nothing much on here that is that exciting because I mentally edit so much before I even make a post. Currently I'm struggling to find anything to post on here that fits the various criteria of:

1. Making some sort of sense
2. Being something that I don't mind the world knowing
3. Being something that I don't mind people I know knowing
4. Being something that might be of interest
5. Being something of interest to people who I don't normally just talk to anyway.

I'm left with random anecdotes that I'm not sure that anyone else would want to read. So on that basis I think it's time to end this blog rather than let it drift.

I'm considering starting a new one, anonymously where no one can find it, as it's quite cathartic to natter about things where people can't work out who the characters are. But maybe I should just start a paper diary.

Bye.

Car Park Valeting

At Tesco today there was a big sign advertising 'Car Park Valeting'

Didn't that used to be called litter picking?

Friends

In this age of digital technology you can keep in contact with lots of people that you probably wouldn’t have chosen to, and you can follow their lives at a distance without actually having to talk to them. And yet, you still manage to lose touch with people who you’d quite like to talk to.

So it was a pleasant surprise to get a text on Monday from an old friend asking if this was still my number and reminding me that, as ever, I’m now as old as him. There’s one week a year when he’s numerically a year older than me and for some reason it’s always been an issue.

He actually phoned last night and we chatted for a good hour in the knowledge that we’ve not spoken in three years and probably won’t again for another three. But then he does live in the back of beyond (Felixstowe). I went to visit once and got sidetracked by a second hand bookshop. I’m not sure how these things happen, although maybe I should go back if only to find that bookshop now that I’m earning.

At the moment I don’t have any committees or groups that I’m involved in so I’m making the most of the time and catching up with old friends, both by meeting up with them and electronically by actually talking to people. It’s quite fun.

So we’ve arranged to chat again around about our birthdays in 2010, and wished each other a Merry Christmas, a happy Easter, a peaceful Summer and hung up.

Genetics

There seems to be a gene on my Father’s side that has unfortunate effects on some members of the family. It seems that certain relations are more likely to come up with stupid ideas for adventures that involve far too much exercise and effort. Generally for charity, but sometimes just for the feeling of jubilation when you realise that you’ve survived the thing.

My uncle runs marathons. I walked a marathon overnight.

And now my brother has decided to cycle from London to Cape Town. And just because that wasn’t tough enough he’s planning to stop off to climb Kilimanjaro. He’s been talking about it for a while now, but he’s starting to sound a bit organised and apparently his employer has ok’d it, so I figure that I should support it a bit. Particularly given that he’s not decided not to cycle through any war zones.

He’s looking for education based charities working in Africa to do it for, so if you have any suggestions you can email him through the website.

http://www.eyeonafrica.co.uk/
There’s also a facebook group where you can tell him exactly how mad you think he is.

It should be pointed out that the particular gene seems to be recessive in Dad... :-)

At what point does clumsiness count as sickness and allow you to be sent home?

So far today I’ve trodden on the base of my chair and flown into my desk and split coffee because I tipped the mug before it was close enough to my mouth.

Surely it’s got to be safer for everyone else if I wasn’t here, but there doesn’t seem to be anything in the HR manual to cover it.

Surely an oversight.

This weekend I have faced a lot of fears. I'm sure it was good for me.

On Saturday I went to 'Go Ape'. I got there looked up at the platforms and thought to myself 'oh, that's not so bad, it's not as high as I thought it would be'. That's not precisely what I thought when I got up to the top of the rope ladder. Looking down at that point may have been a mistake.

But I made it round, I jumped off platforms, and walked along wires and wooden logs at some stupid height above the ground. After the first half hour I began to enjoy it, when I realised that there was a fair chance that I might not die. Problem is now that when I think back to it and remember what things looked like from half way up a tree I'm inclined to get more scared of the memory than I was of the experience at the time.

Ho hum, I never said I was normal.

I also have some beautifully coloured bruises (I didn't have to be rescued, but I was definitely the most obviously injured member of the group).

So then on Sunday I was going to have a nice quiet day..? No. Red Cross duty in the morning and Red Cross Assembly in the evening. The Assembly started with a wonderful conversation in setup.

J - Are you sure the mic is on?
me - Yes, it's definitely coming out this speaker
J - Are you sure?
me - Yes, it's definitely coming out this speaker
J - So is it on now?
me - Yes, it's definitely coming out this speaker
J - Is it loud enough?
me - Yes
J - Can they hear it over there?
me - Yes, it's definitely coming out this speaker

At this point I apprently became the expert on the sound system. This is amusing on two levels: 1) I really hate microphones. 2) I tend to look at electronics and cause them to die. It's a miracle it all worked out.

Then it got worse when the President started asking me for advice on public speaking in from of the expected 150 people, as apparently I looked calm, collected and like I knew what I was doing. I'm glad I looked like that. I was also presenting, but presenting someone elses words. This meant a lot of rewriting an hour before hand to turn it into something that I could say without tripping over myself, and without offending the author. Given that I hate presenting from scripts, or with anything in my hands this was never going to be much fun, and talking to about 200 (as it turned out) from a script, with a microphone in one hand, does roughly come under my heading of 'things to avoid at all costs'. And there wasn't even any chocolate to be had.

Still, I survived. Apparently it came across well, and lots of people now know me as 'The one who's deserting us'.

So I've spent a lot of this weekend scared, a fair amount high on adrenaline. Like I said, I'm sure it was good for me, but maybe a quiet few weeks would be nice now.

New Office

So I now live in Birmingham and work in Solihull. The new office will be very smart when they’ve finished building it. They’ve just put in some fancy glass doors. Wonder how long it will be before I walk into those? Answers on a postcard please…

I’ve also chosen my favourite toilet and managed not to spill any coffee at all on the new carpets. Again, I suspect that that last one is only a matter of time. Making tea at the moment is quite a good diversion anyway.

• Wander around office trying to guess where the workmen have put the kettle.
  Locate kettle.
• Try not to walk into anything or anyone while manoeuvring the kettle to the sink to fill with water
• Try not to spill water in kettle while walking back to where the kettle was.
• Flirt with workmen whilst refusing to make any of them a cuppa.
• Collect everyone’s mugs
• Label everyone’s mugs
• Carry everyone’s mugs to sink and wash.
• Re-label everyone’s mugs
• Carry mugs through to our tea and coffee stash, which is in a different room to both the sink and the kettle.
• Go and find kettle again and carry through to mugs. More flirting with workmen as you still refuse to make them drinks, and walk off with their kettle.
• Place tea bag in R’s cup and add hot water.
• Take tea bag out of R’s cup and place in M’s cup. Leave to stew.
• Make normal cuppa for D.
• Make own instant decaf coffee, which believe it or not is the drink that tastes the least like dishwater.
• Return kettle to workmen
• Ask workmen to move tools from fridge door so that I can get the milk out.
• Put milk in mugs.
• Take milk back to fridge.
• Look at all mugs. Labels have fallen off again.
• Take mugs to R, M and D. Hope they’re right.
• Collect own mug.
• Drink cold decaf coffee.
• Repeat as drawings still haven’t downloaded through the dial up internet connection.

Aliens

Today I was woken by an alien invasion. I couldn’t see anything but I could hear them transporting people away with their machines that make funny noises. For some reason they decided not to take me.

Of course it could just have been the B&Bs hot water system coming on.

But then - why are the aliens invading the hot water system?

Leaving is good for you

I’m beginning to get paranoid. Just as I leave Reading there are lots of exciting things starting to kick off. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s all because I’m leaving…

My parish church is starting too run some Life in the Spirit seminars, and having seen what they did for the chaplaincy at University, I’m expecting great things to happen. Except I won’t be there to see it.
(Having said that, the last time I was there, a parishioner took one look at me tidying the hymn books and said ‘we will miss you when you go’, leaving me with the distinct impression that she was more worried about the hymn books than anything else. Great.)

And then last night, at my last youth group session, God was again working in power. And I’m not going to be there to see what happens next, or what the kids do next and how God moves in their lives. And that’s soooooo frustrating.

So, by that logic I need to leave places more often. It seems to be good for other people.

- So are you moving in with your boyfriend ?
- Oh no, but my current housemate is.
- Ok. He’s moving to Birmingham to?
- Yes, his girlfriend is up there.
- So his girlfriend lives with your boyfriend?
- No, she lives in a convent.

I probably should have elaborated at that point but where’s the fun in that?

The Last week

It’s my last week before the official move.

My diary looks for this week looks a bit mad. By Friday, I have to fit in 5 full days of work, 4 trips to the pub, one set of Birthday drinks (not in a pub), one youth group session and two Red Cross meetings.

And Pack.

So, much as I’ll miss people when I’ve moved, I’ll be quite glad to have some time to sleep!

Go Ape

You know sometimes you agree to do something and then realise a little later that it’s a bad idea.

www.goape.co.uk

I’m not good with heights. I’m sure it’ll be good for me. Wibble.

I have just over two weeks to work out how on earth to get over the initial ‘I’m not climbing that’ issue.

Last time I tried something like this one of the kids from the youth group pointed out that ‘It’s ok, if you fall off and die you go straight to heaven and that’s better than school’. Which is logical, but not entirely reassuring.

2 - 4- 1

Two houses. Four leaving events. One Life.

It’s official. I’m moving. I have written confirmation and everything.

Lots of people seem to be making fusses about it all. I’m not good at being fussed over. I’m even worse at coping with being complimented so if any more people try to be nice to me the chances are that I really won’t cope and may well dissolve. And I’ve taken to dissolving in the most inconvenient of places – I’m sure the people at the church I was at on Sunday thought I was a complete weirdo for crying through half of mass. It’s just not expected outside of charismatic circles.

I suppose I should be glad that lots of people feel the need to tell me that I’m wonderful and will be missed, but how on earth are you meant to react?

‘Yes, I’m wonderful – things will do downhill when I’m gone, just you wait and see?’

I want one of these

When I'm a grown up can I have one of these please?

lull flowering lamp

Pretty please?

Crash, Boom, Thud

I have a reputation for breaking things in the office. It used to be printers, these days it’s normally paper stuff and it’s usually because I’ve spilt something all over my desk. So when I haven’t broken anything in a while comments are made. A colleague just noticed my phone and was impressed that it still looked like it was in one piece, particularly given that I’ve had the same handset for over a year now. I accepted the compliment and mentioned that it was probably because I’d broken my watch clasp instead. I then showed him the defective clasp.

It’s now mended.

He went for the classic engineering approach with a twist. The twist being that instead of hitting it with a hammer he used a stapler.

Apparently it’s the most job satisfaction he’s had in days.

Carried away

Sometimes I get carried away with cleaning things. I find it quite satisfying to get things to a state where you can see an improvement. This explains why I bleached the bin last night instead of going to the gym. Well, it partly explains it anyway.

Our landlord seems to have similar issues. Since we told them we were moving out they’ve been sorting out the garden of the house. A tree fell down in the floods which they sorted out last week. Last night I got home to discover that they’d felled another three trees. I can’t help but think that they’ve got a little carried away. Particularly given that one of the trees was a rather nice one. No idea what species it was but the leaves were a pretty maroon colour that contrasted nicely against the green backdrop of the weeping willow behind it making for variety of colours. Apparently the landlord isn’t that artistic when it comes to trees.

More amusing though was the squirrel. The squirrel is the reason I was late into the office this morning as I got sidetracked watching a it wandering around the tree stump. It looked just like it was looking for something but couldn’t quite work out what was wrong. Much the same look as I’ve perfected in the mornings.

Now I just need to work out how to get carried away with presentation writing or tender analysis. Hmmm. This might need a little more effort. Maybe I’ll just go wash my mug.

Hmmmm

I just got to my desk to find a note saying 'Please Resign'.

This is a lot more obvious than normal, and I'm not sure what I've done to upset them this time.

Of course it might just mean that they want me to re-sign the updated drawings - but that's not actually what's been written...

And finally the car is all mended

The trim which fell off the resprayed doors is now restuck. They told me not to wash the car for 24 hours to ensure that it stays stuck.

It's a sacrifice but I'll try. And just when it was due it's annual wash too.

So how is it that one of my eyes looks tired and the other one doesn’t? How does that make any sense? Particularly given the amount of sleep I’ve had this weekend. Hrumph.

I’m sorry, I’m not drinking due to the police incident. Yes, they asked me to leave my car there, hopefully I can collect it later.

I can play that up nicely until you realise that I have no idea what the police incident was, the car park exit was closed hence the car still being parked in the car park, and that all things considered it wasn’t that inconvenient, I just didn’t have a chance to get changed properly for the meal as it had taken me 1.25 hours to go down two floors of the car park. I listened to a lot of the book of Genesis on my audio Bible though so it’s not lost time.

I made it to J’s meal eventually – her second hen night. There were about 10 if us, and it didn’t take long for me to realise that a lot more people knew of me than I knew them

Oh so you’re Mary… I work with your mum…

Oh, yes, Mary knows him from Church…

Oh you’re Mary – you used to play with my daughter when you were 10, you have changed…

There are times when it’s good to still live in the community you grew up in, and times when it’s not. I’ll let you decide which is which.

Still, it made conversation easier over the food. As ever, when they all wandered off towards a bar I panicked and went home. Not quite sure why I like pubs so much but can’t handle bars… Although at the moment it’s more just not handling large groups of people in noisy places. Which, conveniently, is also my current excuse for not going to the gym... :-)

Happiness Survey

Oh no! I'm in a happiness dip.

Women were also happy in their late-teens and early 20s - scoring 7.55 - although they dipped to 7.1 between the ages of 25-34.

I figure this means that I need cheering up, so please feel free to send me chocolate, flowers, hugs etc... :-D

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6947481.stm

How do you describe people?

Yesterday I was back at my old university halls in Birmingham, UH, where we scattered some of Kev’s ashes in the garden. A couple of people spoke about him and H was able to come up with a few memories of Kev in UH that reminded that rest of us who’d lived with him of some happy, albeit random, times. Which sums up UH nicely too – happy but random. She picked out things that the rest of us had forgotten. It’s strange the things that you remember about people and the different things that people remember as important, but those anecdotes only add to the memories of Kev that I have, they don’t work as a whole description of the man.

Afterwards I went for a chat with L, after we’d wandered round UH trying to remember where the bar used to be and swapping memories of UH. She then asked me to describe my other half, and I was stumped. I couldn’t find a way to describe him that even began to cover it or that would make any sense to anyone other than me.

So how do you describe someone so that it actually reflects that person and that makes them sound as interesting to other people as they are to you? Or do you just have to resort to anecdotes, and hope that they’ll make sense if they ever actually meet the person you’re describing?

I have my car back

My car was recently backed into by a van. This was rather inconvenient, not to mention a bit of a surprise. Thankfully the garage to whom the van belonged took responsibility and have sorted out the mess.

They took my car away for just over a week and mended the dent by replacing the door and wing on the passenger side. They also took out a dent that I'm pretty sure was nothing to do with them and sprayed the scratches on the bumper that were definitely due to a bush at Reading University.

So now It's all mended and shiny and clean. All good.

Now I have to learn to not reverse in first gear.

It seems to worry people as I zoom towards things instead of safely reversing away from them. Not least the people at the garage last night as they watched in panic at the attempt I made to leave their forecourt.

Worship Style

I've found a quiz that helps you to determine your worship style. Not because this is especially important, but because it might make you think a bit about worship and how you prefer to do it.

I found it through the Rejesus blog, but the direct link is here

Apparently I prefer to worship God by caring for others, which, to be fair, does fit with everything else in my life, so it's probably about right. Not sure about the things that come second and third as they both imply I'd prefer silent meditation and worship, which doesn't entirely sit right with my normal preferences.

It seems to be more of a character assessment than a worship style assessment, but maybe that's the point - worship is part of everyday things after all :-)

Thought provoking at the least.

Caregiver - Loving God by Loving Others:

Caregivers serve God by serving others. They often claim to see Christ in the poor and needy, and their faith is built up by interacting with other people. Caring for others recharges a caregiver's batteries.

Contemplative - Loving God through Adoration:
These Christians seek to love God with the purest, deepest, and brightest love imaginable. They want nothing more than some privacy and quiet to gaze upon the face of their heavenly Lover and give all of themselves to God.

Ascetic - Loving God in Solitude and Simplicity:
Ascetics want nothing more than to be left alone in prayer. Let there be nothing to distract them--no pictures, no loud music--and leave them alone to pray in silence and simplicity.


link

Dead flies.

On Thursday I went to see a friend in Oxford. She’s finally re-entered the world of sociable people, and as a result I didn’t have to be sympathetic about dead flies at all. This is good, because I’ve never really found the right words to express my true feelings on that matter. She did make me look at her thesis, and I proved, again, that I just don’t have the right vocabulary for the topic. But what a lovely front cover the document has. Beautiful.

We spent most of the day telling each other how wonderful our other halves are, and occasionally even also listening to each other. We may also have been shopping.

Incidentally, apparently Alice’s new bloke reads this blog occasionally. So I’d like to express my condolences on two points:
1. The content of this blog is hardly intellectual or, for the most part, intelligent.
2. Just general condolences/sympathies for coping with Alice. There were lots of reasons for that which were evident Thursday, but just now I can’t remember what any of them are. The principle still stands though.

Still, it was good to catch up with Alice. It also turns out that she is moving in the opposite direction to me. Just when we’d managed to live within shouting distance for a while. I’ve decided to take it personally.

Oh yes, the Birmingham move is now happening, which probably means that I need to get organised - you know, find somewhere to live, sort out all my junk (bet you didn’t know I had a Chinese boat).

Cardboard bridge.

I have a new aim in life. Amoungst the other life aims I now want to build a bridge out of toilet rolls.

It is possible.... link

Mousetrap for water engineers

What do you mean you don't know what mousetrap is? I think Gran still has the version we used to play. Hmmm. I think I need to head over to Gran's to check :-)

Either way, how cool is this? I want one!
link


link now corrected!

World Domination

You Are Not Destined to Rule the World

You are destined for something else... Like inventing a new type of cupcake. You just don't have the stomach for brutality. But watch out - because many people do!

Are You Destined For World Domination?

Pants. I'm going to have to rethink my career.

Are you a control freak?

You Are 32% Control Freak

You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent.

Are You A Control Freak?

I'm very amused at the concept of me having a perfect balance of control and letting go of things - that's something I'm renowned for, just take a look at my diary and the amount of committees I'm on.

I'd have put myself far higher than 32%.

Lying to journalists.

I have to talk to a journalist about my career. She will then write 200 words about me, based on what I say, to include in a supplement for a technical magazine. I think I'm only included if I’m interesting enough though.

This is slightly random, and involves me trying to remember things that I generally choose to forget, like what my degree title is (Thanks to a course mate for help on that one). I’m also likely to be asked about why, 4 years ago, I chose to work for this company.

I’m not sure that I can give the real answer of ‘Seemed like a good idea at the time, and God gave it the OK too’.

Which means I have to lie.

It's hailing.

It's July 3rd amd there's hail in that there thunder storm.

July. Hail.

:-(

Maybe I will have to buy a sun lamp after all.

Someone just sent a fax...

When someone uses the fax machine it plays a tune across the whole room as it sends - The tune being the dial sound for each number. That last one managed to sound like the theme tune to old disney cartoons.

I am very much amused and will now be singing it all night.

Bathroom fitting epidemic

Everywhere I go at the moment someone is sure to say ‘I’m redoing the bathroom at the moment’ or, as a variation on the theme, there are a few people redoing their kitchens. It’s right across the board, both friends and colleagues. It’s getting to the point where I can occasionally make intelligent sounding comments about them, which is a little worrying.

So, is it me? Am I somehow subtly affecting the people around me and making them want to redo their bathrooms?

And if that’s the case, is there any way that I can change this effect into something of more practical use to me. Instead or ‘redo bathroom’ it could be ‘give Mary chocolate’ or perhaps ‘give Mary a hug’ or even more useful ‘stop Mary volunteering for things’. Although I've been trying to talk myself into that last one for years - it never quite seems to happen...

It's 4 New bathrooms & 2 new kitchens at last count.

Office phones.

I have two phones on my desk. One is white. One is grey.

The grey one is a fancy new IP phone. The old white one is not.

Last week the white phone worked for everything I need a phone to do and the grey one did not.
Today the grey phone works, and the white one does not.

They both have different phone numbers. The number that people call me on is the one that doesn’t work.

I’ve tried calling IT about it, but I can’t call them from either phone.

My Old School

I was lucky enough to go to a very good state school - The Holt School, Wokingham. As with any school it had it's problems (Through winter, it was quite standard to heat the science labs by lighting all the bunsen burners that we could find), but I came out of 7 years there with some pretty good (if I do say so myself) qualifications, which set me up for Uni and my following career.

So I find it horrible to look at an article in the news today about the state of the school now. A lot of girls study there, and academically it's still a good school.

How on earth can any council allow it's buildings to get into such a state? Buildings, no buildings, should be allowed to get to this state of disrepair. It's a waste of money for one thing.

The scary thing is that this is a prosperous part of the country - what are schools elsewhere looking like? Surely there are people who can see the cost and social benefit of looking after the assets they have? Or do we really live in such a short sighted political climate the only short term budgets and projects can be considered?

Pictures of the school.

I'm peeved, both professionally as an engineer and personally as an old girl.

Blackboard paint

I found this link on Boingboing.net

Blackboard paint. I could have so much fun with that.

Imagine the scene. I've just got home and there are a million things that I should be doing, but I can't remember what they all are, but joy of joys - they're all listed on the blackboard paint :-) I can lose pieces of paper, but I'd have to be really unlucky to lose an entire kitchen cupboard :-)

And it'd bring a whole new level of excitement to parties - everything ends up in the kitchen anyway and you could have a fantastic work of art by the time everyone else goes home :-)

All I need now is a house of my own so that I can do it (I'm assuming that most landlords might have issues with it). Now there's the first time I've found an incentive for trying to get on the property ladder (reasons not to buy my own place include finances, and not wanting to live on my own as I need someone to get rid of spiders for me).

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?

You are Hagrid. You're an outcast with a heart of gold. Despite your own problems, you always find time to help those in need.

link

32.

I’ve just written a list of ‘urgent’ things that I haven’t done. There are 32 things on the list.

So, if I’m meant to have called you, sent you something, emailed you something, organised something, given you something, written up something, sorted out something, detailed my opinion on something, RSVP’d to something or just haven’t spoken to you in a while please accept my apologies.

I’m not quite sure how it all got this far out of hand.

Oops.

I'm tempted to leave it until there are 42 items for HHGTTG reasons, but that seems a bit of a self destructive attitude.

I'd like to apologise to my colleagues in the Red Cross...

...but let's be honest, you really shouldn't have let me stand on a step ladder with a bucket of water. It was always going to be asking for trouble. The Vehicle is now clean, although it needs polishing, and a white touch up stick (anyone got a faded white, mercedes benz touch up stick?). We even did the inside.

I also washed my jeans and J. and B. ended up with a fair amount of water all over them too.

Apparently I'm going to get cold in my kidneys too where my t-shirt didn't meet my jeans. If I do I suspect it'll be mostly to do with S. poking me in the back with a mop...

So tonight we decided to wash the First Aid Vehicle. The mould growing along the side really wasn't giving us a very professional image. Anyone who saw us actually washing it won't have seen a very professional image either.

However, the season is upon us - so anyone who sees us out an about will, as ever, ask us how much we get paid and where the toilets are. People are always suprised that we're volunteers as they can't understand why anyone would spend 10 hours at a time sitting in a field with an ambulance. It's a fair call. We don't know either. But at least this year we won't have a mouldy vehicle.

Tired.

For over a week now I’ve been tired. Sleepy tired – you know that feeling when you’ve just woken up and could just drop straight back off again? That kind of tired, except almost all the time. But sleeping doesn’t seem to help.

Given that I spend my life being tired you’d think I’d have got the hang of it now.

It’s probably a lot to do with getting bored at work and doing too much and not getting enough exercise – all the normal culprits.

So basically, I'm feeling sorry for myself. How attractive :-s

Ho hum.

The end is nigh

You know it’s been an ‘interesting’ work period when you take a complicated set of drawings to a colleague for him to action, say ‘they’re ready to go’ and he looks you straight in the eye, shakes your hand and says ‘Congratualtions’.

He’s as glad to see the back of them as I am, although I’ll be surprised if they don’t return with comments from the contractors about something I’ve overlooked.

It’s one of the great things about my job – you never know what problem you’re going to be faced with next, and there’s never an off the shelf answer. However, with this set of drawings there have been lots and lots of options that don’t really quite work. Most of which I developed at some point in the last few weeks.

Now we just have to see if they can build the thing.

It’s the last big bit of work on the project. Two years on this, and we’re almost done. It feels a bit like bereavement. I wonder what they’ll do with me next – The electrical engineer told me yesterday that I’m ‘going places’. I think I’d upset him .

Sitting in the sun.

Surely that’s got to hurt? It's hot and massive.

I spent much of the weekend doing it anyway.

Anyone got a tissue?

You come into work. You feel rubbish. You sneeze over everything. You consider giving up and going home, and you’ve only been there 30 minutes, and it seems a little early to make that kind of decision.

Then a colleague wanders up and gives you chocolate and it’s all better.

Ish.

Ahhhhh Chhhooooooooooooooo.

New York Manhole steam

Now what makes you think that I'm not quite in the working mood yet....?

Steam coming from manholes in New York are not to do with subways venting, or the sewers for that matter.

Many of the high rise buildings in New York are powered by steam in a network that is 50 to 100 years old. Steam is used as this is both more cost effective and efficient than many other systems for heating tall buildings. It's also used for sterilising equipment in some hospitals. Most of the steam plumes that you see coming out of manholes are due to water touching the outside of these steam pipes and becoming vapour.

Occasionally they are due to cracks in the pipework in, or near, those locations.

http://www.coned.com/history/steam.asp

So now I have an answer, and I'm happy. But I suppose I should really do some work now.

Jetlag

So far, I have:

• Fallen out of bed – a double bed no less. No idea how I managed that one, but my housemates heard the thump, so I didn't just dream it.
• Demolished the bathroom towel rail (about 5 minutes after falling out of bed).
• shut finger in kitchen door (The nail is going purple – it’s very pretty).
• used bruised finger to press buttons, empty tumble drier and generally lots of things that might also make the thing hurt.

I'm hoping not to hurt myself in any other ways for a while.

New York

New Year 2007. I was at a party and a conversation began about clothes. The general theme was that we didn’t have anything to wear for any of the gazillion weddings we're meant to be attending this summer.

I can’t remember exactly what time the suggestion was made – I may have a little to drink.

However, the suggestion was made that we would go to New York to go shopping for wedding outfits.

Suprisingly we actually made it. We went last week. There are photos, there are credit card bills and there are good memories.

But I still have nothing to wear for the weddings.

Normality is not a vector

• Normal means perpendicular to something.
• So if I take it as relative to the ground then if I'm perpendicular to the ground then I am normal.
• But the ground is curved.
• So I'm unlikely to be normal that often, but am more likely to wobble around on either side of normal as I wander through life...
• And even if I lie down I'm unlikely to be parallel as my curves don't match the ground's curve.
• You're either normal or you're not. Apparently. Does this make it bipolar? Should normality be on medication after all bipolar disorder is generally bad.
• But that would imply that normality is a vector as it has direction.
• And that would just be silly.

I'm a little tired, I think my brain has just given up on thinking about anything that might actually do it any good. Maybe I should have had a nap this afternoon instead of paddling in the waterfall at virginia water, and I wasn't analysing the flow patterns in my head. I mean, really, would I do such a thing? ;-)

Last night was the work party to celebrate how wonderful we all are. It was very impressive, with about 800 people there, but did involve introducing the boyfriend to some of my colleagues. He seemed to cope and I'm on leave all week so the office can gossip to their hearts content and I don't actually have to listen. I'm going to New York tomorrow :-)

Me, Mum, Best Friend from school and her mum. New York. Shopping.

Please pray for New York :-)

Ting

That is the noise that my necklace made as it fell off my neck and landed on my desk, narrowly missing my mug. This is unusual as i have a reputation for spilling my drinks, and dropping things in them, so I would expect the necklace to land in the mug. It's unfortunately fairly common for me to have to ask for reprints of my drawings because they're covered in water - the guys have got used to it now.

It might help if I had a tidy desk, but somehow that doesn't seem to be a way that I can work. I know where everything is and what it's for, but no one else does. But I'm going on leave so I'm sticking post-it notes on everything and putting it on other people's desks. I know it'll all be back on my desk by the time I get back but that doesn't change the feeling right now.

Must remember to take it to the parents for mending - pliers and a soldering iron should do the trick. That's the necklace, not the mug, and definitely not the desk.

In Heaven the postit notes will be great – they won’t fall off !

So you put 6 women in a room, and ask them to look at a passage in Revelation and somehow inevitably the discussion goes crazy.

We started off talking about sheep and goats. So far so good.

The sheep and the goats will be divided. Most people would probably move on from here but after about 10 minutes of discussion we were still working out the best way to distinguish the two species. It was decided that actually checking their tails to distinguish them would be easier than making cheese from all of them and tasting it. Not to mention a whole lot quicker. We just have to hope that they wouldn’t be pegged up by their tails, because once you unpegged them they’d probably run off.

Then of course there’s purgatory to discuss – I’ve struggled for a long time to care much about whether purgatory exists – after all it shouldn’t change how I live now anyway. But finally, an analogy that makes a kind of sense – once the sheep and the goats have been divided there’s the sheep dip to pass through...

And then there are the gates of heaven to provide a photo opportunity.

And all that was interspersed with singing the theme tune from the Poddington peas. (Heaven is perfect, Eden was perfect. There are peas in gardens. Honestly, there's logic in there somewhere.)

Down at the bottom of the garden,
Among the birds and the bees,
A little lot of little people,
They call the Poddington Peas.

There’s Creepy, Black Eye Pea and Dumpy.
Keep it a secret now please.
There’s Zippy, Happy and there’s Sweepy.
And all the Poddington Peas!

The Poddington Peas!

How on earth we’re going to turn any of this into a sensible session for the young people next week is a problem for Friday when we try to plan it before spending all evening watching Red Dwarf. This isn't going to get any more sensible is it...?

Rock Paper Scissors - the ultimate decision making tool.

I'm not that good at making decisions that affect myself. YouthNet leaders have been known to make decisions about which pub to visit based on the game Rock, Paper, Scissors when we can't come to an agreement any other way.

It turns out the game itself it's less uncommon than I thought. There's a league in the states, with referees and prize money.

So I'm taking part in a global sport. Not just putting off decisions. :-)

Go me.

Times Online Article - All together now . . . rock, paper, scissors

The Weekend

I spent the weekend in Birmingham again. It’s quite nice up there you know – lots of interesting attractions, lots of people to keep you entertained, and one particular person who manages to be both an attraction and to entertain me all at once. I shall be in Birmingham more often in future :-)

So I was up there to see the certain someone, to go to a birthday party (for which I forgot the present – must remember to post it sometime) and to meet someone else for lunch (I’m developing quite a circle of annual lunch dates – really must get better at meeting up with these people). In between all that managed to watch Eurovision (I wonder who they’ll vote for – oh Quelle Surprise. For an account of the entries... take a look at troubled diva's post), some of the Grand Prix (well, dozed through it whilst making confused comments) and went to a cheesy Christian Musical (where I was asked, of all things, what would happen if a terrorist bomb bit a sewage works).

So i'm not sure what to blog about. Sorry.

I also saw a marmite tanker on the motorway. I've never seen a marmite tanker before :-)

Doodle Analysis

Tonight in a meeting I was complimented on the intricacy of my doodling. Apparently the scale and complexity was impressive.

So I decided to analyse it. This is a picture of some of my doodle:


According to the BBC H2G2 I am a quiet individual who doesn't like to stand out in a crowd. This is because I start drawing at the edge of the page (it just expands to cover the whole page).

It also says that very detailed doodles are often drawn by people who have an obsessive nature, and who simply will not let go of their ambitions or loved ones. They are also likely to be jottings of highly introverted people.

However, according to this site the geometric shapes indicate an organised and efficient mind, possible even with a sense of direction and purpose. Now this sounds more like it. All the squares apparently represent the formal, mathematical, scientific order of the universe. I'm not sure what that actually says about me though.

So I'm quiet, introverted, efficient, organised and obsessive. Oh Good. That doesn't sound like me at all.

:-s

Gardening.

They let me have a saw. It had a curved blade and I ‘may’ have pretended it was a pirate sword once or twice. I didn’t chop down a whole tree though, just a little bit of one, but it was fun. The fact that I cut my finger while putting the sheath back on the saw was unfortunate, and did seem to worry some of the family. Whereas I was trying to decide what sort of bleed it was – I decided on arterial.

This weekend was the Gardening weekend when the whole family (or perhaps more accurately, those in the country at the time) descend on Gran’s house and ‘do’ the garden. This year there were 8 of us, and about 50 manhours later we’d finished the list. Gran kept saying I should try being constructive and plant stuff instead of just weeding and cutting branches off trees. She evidently doesn’t know me that well. Admittedly mum’s comment was fair. Whilst I weeded out long grasses that were in seed she said something along the lines of ‘it would make more sense if you took your hayfever tablet before doing that’.

The other thing that marked the weekend was the interrogation from both Mum and Gran. Starting with ‘So what’s his name’ and moving onto ‘So it’s not just lust then’. And people wonder why I’m turned out as I have. I blame the parents. :-D

Why I should probably not be allowed to drive.

• Open car door.
• Sit in driver’s seat
• Put keys in ignition.
• Put on Seat belt
• Check mirrors
• Release handbrake
• Reverse down hill

Everything was going well until I eased onto the gas to go forward up the hill and out of the car park.

These things are so much simpler when you’ve remembered to switch the engine on.

Today I became a real engineer

This is what I was told as I was handed one of these

It's a big day for me, I'd like to thank my mum, my hairdresser...

Old Children's TV

Last night people came round to our house to watch DVDs. We watched Morph, then some Fraggle Rock, followed by Dangermouse before finally moving onto Button Moon.

Oh yes, we projected them all onto a large screen in the living room . It was great. Thanks to Gemma for providing the Fraggle Rock DVD, the rest are all mine :-D

Unfortunately Suz informed us last night that Sharkey and George has not been released on DVD yet, and worse there are currently no plans to do so! So we all just had to eat lots of chocolate ice cream instead. There is a petition for that though... (for Sharkey and George DVDs, not the ice cream).

Oh I'm a simple child. :-)

Problem being that now I would far rather watch more dangermouse than go and help lead a confirmation session. I'm not sure how I'd explain that to the other leaders...

0550

0550.

It’s a fairly random number.

It’s also the time of day that I’ve been waking up every work day for about 2 weeks now. It means I’m awake to hear the alarm go at 0600.

I am not impressed.

Yesterday it meant that I sorted out my ‘to be filed’ heap before going to work, much to the amusement of my housemate who looked at all the piles of paper on my bed and accused me of being mad. Which given that she's trying to talk Bosnian to everyone whilst singing the milky bar song is quite a statement.

Things were not helped by the fact that I didn’t manage to get to town to buy files to put the heaps in, so last night I then had to put it all back together into a pile on the floor that looked a whole lot like the original mess.

And so the cycle of life continues.

I am tired.

Which Disney Princess are you?

You are Jasmine. You are loyal and would visit the ends of the earth for what you believe. You would never let obstacles stand in the way of true love.

Quiz link

How sweet.

Usefulness

A friend has just sent me some quotes from emails that I sent him dating back to 2002 when we were studying the same degree with most of the same modules and on most of the same committees in the chaplaincy. We basically ran the world.

Turns out that I was ever an idealistic soul. Just before graduation there is a note that says:

Don't worry about finishing the degree. It's a good thing. We get to go out into the real world and actually do useful stuff.

I wonder what I thought the useful stuff was going to be. I'm not sure I've done any of it.

They did it!

It's only taken them a few years to get round to it, but they finally made it. Mr and Mrs Fosker.

They had fish bowls of different sorts of sweets on each table to label them- I was on the Marshmallow table. I didn't drink much because I was too busy chatting and bouncing off the walls due to the sugar high. It turns out that sugar hangovers are worse than the alcoholic sort. :-s

Apparently I was the only person who looked at the water bottles, read the label and had visions of taking the bottle around some department store or other, and asking it's opinions on interior design as it has 'exceptional taste'. This might have had something to do with the aforementioned sugar high.

Randomness

What is the connection between a large plastic cutlass, a marriage proposal*, animal noises (with actions), baby photos and prayer?

A group of Christian youth leaders in the pub.

Noone ever seems to want to sit that close to us... wonder why ;-)

*For the record, I refused. He was only after my money.

Bumps and Bruises

In the Catholic Tradition confirmation candidates used to be slapped round the face by the Bishop in order to remind them that they needed to be brave when defending the faith.

Is there any second meaning to head butting a warderobe door? Is God trying to tell me something? I know I'm not that good at listening to him all the time, but this seems a little excessive...

I hope it doesn't bruise. At the moment it's just a cartoon style big red lump. What a way to start the week.

Jesus is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

Woohoooo!!

errm. I mean Hallelujah!

obviously.

Hungover without the drink

Hen dos. Random things. Ryan’s stag do was a lot more straightforward. At least on a stag do when someone compliments your errm… ‘assets’ you know where you stand (or look). I’ve never quite worked out how to react when a woman compliments them - Do you return the compliment? Does it become acceptable to stare? Or are you meant to be coy?

Apparently mine are apparently much envied so I think I’ll just enjoy the compliment without thinking about it too much!

Probably best not to say too much about the behaviour of everyone – except to say that it turns out that I really don’t need alcohol in my life to blend right in with the drunken people. However, as the main photographer of the evening there is no evidence to incriminate me. Jen is a bad influence, as is Charlie (but then, that’s not really news). I can’t say anything bad about Annette, as she’s my date for the wedding next week… ;-)

The theme of the night was ‘Married life – heaven or hell?’ so we were all dressed as angels and devils. Noone seemed to believe me that I am truly angelic and that the costume was just a reflection of the truth within, apart from the one comment of ‘well you do go to church so maybe you are more angelic’. Still chuckling to myself about that one.

Was a great night, but for someone who wasn’t drinking I seem to have a hangover. This is particularly unfair as Jen has already been on facebook to record that she doesn’t, and she’s normally under the table after one drink. My voice has also descended into a low growl - It’s probably due to the volume at which I was ‘singing’ along to the power ballads in the limo on the way home.

A good time was had by all.

The hen is apparently recovering well.

Skips.

Today I went to the pub for lunch. A colleague and I normally go every Friday, but tomorrow being a bank holiday meant that we needed to rearrange the day. We may not ever go again if she doesn't stop referring to my car share as my 'work husband' but that's a whole different issue.

I was happily sipping my lemonade when a skip lorry rolled up to the pub. From that point on I spent most of the conversation not listening to Clare at all, but looking at the way the lorry worked, how much space it needed and whether I could apply those factors and considerations to my detailed design work.

I'd say that I should get out more, but I'd probably end up watching more skip lorries...

I think I must be an engineer :-s

Worry

People worry about you, so you start wondering if they should be worrying.

You then worry that they can see something more than you can see in the situation – maybe they’re right after all and maybe you should be worried.

And the more you worry yourself into a mess, the more they worry, and the more of a mess they get into so you worry that they’re overdoing it and that it’s your fault because you’ve caused them to worry.

It’s all very worrying.

Maybe I should break the cycle and take all the advice given me in the last 24 hours – to eat nothing but fruit and veg, remember to take vitamin tablets, go home, to sleep, to listen to some music and to pray.

I note that work doesn't feature anywhere in the list :-)

me? a geek? huh?

Please find attached a link to Martha Freeman's myspace blog. If you don't know who she is then you should be ashamed :-)

I found it on someone elses blog (but not the gallifrey one forum, oh no - what makes you think I'm a member of that?) .

I should really develop a new hobby. Maybe one that even involves real people.

London

I’ve spent the weekend in London. It was exactly what I needed as I’m now back on full bounce.

Things started as they meant to go on Friday afternoon. Alice and I were due to meet at Paddington Station at 16:30. Now one of those things about Alice is that she has no sense of direction, mostly gets lost and is generally late. So I was a little worried when I got a text telling me that she thought she was going to be on time. If she got into town before I did then I’d never live it down.

Now, as you do when you’re going to be spending the whole weekend with someone it is normal to text continuously for the hour before you meet up. After all, you need something to talk about. Alice had decided that her train was supersonic and my timings were getting worse when I managed to get on a stopping train that was delayed. It stopped in all sorts of exciting places that I’d never heard of. I started to get worried that there were two Paddington stations and that I was going to the wrong one. Where was I going to end up?

I’ve never been happier to pull into Slough Station. At least I know where it is.

At about this point I got a text from Alice.

We're stuck behind a train in slough. Why anyone stops here is beyond me. ho hum. nap time, my old age is kicking in.

Alice’s supersonic train was stuck behind my painfully slow train. I was very much amused (which I might just have made clear to Alice, and the rest of the carriage). She was not so amused, but at least it meant that the laws of nature were not broken and that I was at the meeting point before Alice.

Only problem was that I was late too, thereby losing the moral high ground. You win some you lose some.


The rest of the weekend was great - went to see the Barenaked ladies with Alice and Seb on Friday (their last album was rubbish, but they still do a very good live show) followed by a drink to catch up with Seb. Very jealous that he gets to have occasional helicopter rides for work. Maybe there is something in this accountancy thing.

Saturday involved the Tate Britain. I’ve not been there since I was doing Art GCSE and it’s smaller than I remember. We spent ages wandering round and proved beyond doubt that Alice and I should not go to art galleries together. Things I liked were generally a little more abstract than her taste which seemed to involve pretty pictures.

And apparently the Victorians found this gallery incomprehensible. I’m with them on this one although I struggled with that whole gallery. look - Another painting where the sun has obscured everything else on the canvas. How innovative.

Some interesting exhibitions coming up though, so will probably go back to have more of a play. I can do cultured.

Update.

Apparently I haven’t blogged enough recently. People are starting to talk. The pause has been because I couldn’t think of anything interesting to write about that didn’t end up with me ranting about something or moaning. This is not to say that life is bad at the moment, I just seem to have got a little stressed by things. This is not entirely out of character.

The week has been punctuated by people who know me well enough saying things along the lines of

"You look awful"

"I’m a bit worried about you"

"You really should try relaxing"

People who don’t know me so well are just looking worried at me. All of which has really helped me to feel so much better about myself. No really.

Nothing like brutal honestly to make you want to hide underneath a blanket on the sofa watching archive Doctor Who episodes interspersed with Mysterious Cities of Gold off YouTube.

Ah yes, that was last night.

Thing is - this has been a good week. I’ve been down to site and seen my doodles drawn out in concrete (scary – they all seem to be a bit big. I really hope they’re all correct. Although I think that I still need to go on holiday over takeover, just in case it doesn’t all work - that’s March 2008. Anyone want to go away somewhere exotic that doesn’t have email or phones?).

I’ve even managed to get through some meetings I expected to be horrendous because I actually know my stuff on the topics (apparently some people believe what I tell them because I’m a ‘designer’. Please pray for them).

And yet still what I remember most about this week is the twit how tailgated me up the hill this morning (I have a 1 litre engine – I physically can’t go more than 20mph in most of High Wycombe. Back off Mr “My boot is bigger than your entire car” Audi.)

Just as well I’m away all weekend in London with old uni friends causing havoc (and trust me there's nothing like Cathsoc Graduates for causing havoc). Anyone who’s in London and fancies a pint/coffee/lunch this Saturday drop me a line – If you happen to be carrying chocolate so much the better :-D

Pencils

There is something about mechanical pencils that are just lovely, mine is a silver parker and is the only elegant thing I have on my desk. So I was understandably distraught when I lost it. It was one of those silly things – I had it in my hand, and then it wasn’t there. So I checked all the places that I normally lose it.

Is it in my coffee?
No. (I do sometimes get it confused with a spoon, not that I use spoons in my coffee)

Is it in the bin?
No.

Is it in my tissue box?
No. (You may laugh, but it’s crazy how often it ends up there – I think it’s making a nest)

Is it under my desk?
No. (But I can’t look too hard because I might pull out the network cable and cut off most of the room. And people have been really touchy about that recently)

Have I managed to throw it somewhere else?
No-one else has noticed a flying silver projectile, although it can’t be ruled out. The people sitting near me are getting used to me accidentally firing things across the desks – It’s got to the stage where other people will drop things when they’re talking to me in a sort of sympathetic response.

I was left upset and disorientated, and had to use a wooden pencil. Now, I’m sure that I’m not the only person who has this problem, but I tend to eat the ends of pencils. This is the primary reason that I use a mechanical one as even I can’t eat metal. However, when you eat a wooden pencil you run the risk of splinters. I’ve never got a pencil splinter yet, but I’m in no rush to get one either, I suspect they’d be painful.

So let’s all celebrate! My prodigal pencil has returned*. Let’s go kill the fatted calf and parrttttttyyyyyyy.



*I think that the fact that it was underneath my keyboard all the time is a detail that doesn’t need broadcasting.

So today is Friday ?

Last night on my way home I had a minor panic – I was sure it was Friday, and that meant I’d forgotten to interview someone, and more to the point reception hadn’t called me to remind me when said interviewee arrived. Not generally the best impression to give of the company.

It took a good couple of miles before I realised that it was actually Thursday and therefore I hadn’t forgotten to do anything (ok, so that’s a debatable point – there’s always something I’ve forgotten to do). I got home in a bit of a state and decided the best reaction to this whole panic involved hiding in my bed, in the hope that it would all make itself better and go away. I got up briefly to cook and eat Pizza before going back to bed.

When my alarm went this morning it was proved that the world was still in the wrong as it is apparently Friday. Again.

This wouldn’t be such a problem if I hadn’t also spent most of Tuesday being convinced it was Friday. The rest of the office was apparently much amused by my expressive comment of ‘Tuesday? What? Is that all?’

Surely it can’t be right to have three Fridays in a week?

It wasn't me.

bbc article

Whirrrrrrrrr whirrrrrrrr whirrrrrrr whirrrrrrrrr

If that was, say, a helicopter, that would be a good noise. As it was my car it was not such a welcome noise. Particularly given that my car doesn’t have rotor blades (How cool would that be?!).

So, that led to all sorts of excitement that basically proved, to all those people who weren’t aware, that I don’t have a clue about how my car works.

Firstly I woke up my housemate, J, who for someone who is really, really not a morning person, was an absolute star.

First job was to move the car out of the way of everyone else as I was blocking in the whole rest of the house – now how was I meant to know that the steering is locked when the keys aren’t in the ignition? These are details that I’ve never needed to know. However, J helped sort that one out – by telling me.
Mary’s learning point number 1.

We got the car moved and A went to work. Then my car share arrived. It was suggested that we tried jump starting the car. Somewhere in the house there are some jump leads. Somewhere. So J popped out to buy some more (we’ll now find the original ones this evening – them be da rules). They then tried to jump start the car (note, I had little to do with this – I just did what I was told).
Mary’s learning point number 2.

This didn’t work. I had already called the RAC, to get into the queue; A had suggested that would be a good idea as I could always cancel it later.

In due course, the RAC man turned up, said he knew exactly what the problem was – and proceeded to start the car. Apparently if you cold start and engine and only leave it running for a minute then the next time you start the car the engine might be flooded. It’s quite normal apparently. So swapping the cars round on the drive last night wasn’t the time saver it was meant to be. Ho hum.
Mary’s learning point number 3.

I’ve explained to my colleagues (now that I’m in the office) that I’m a civil engineer so not meant to understand things that move, and that I do know some things about my car – It’s blue, it has wheels and the petrol goes in the hole at the back. They are not looking that impressed.

And now, in the safety of the office I’ve just tripped over a flat bit of floor.

Sigh.

Extra Men and Chocolate

This morning a colleague was feeling a 'little' sleepy. By which I mean that stage of tiredness where you're bascially hyper (more so than me on a large bag of haribo). I explained to him that if he gave me chocolate then he'd feel better. I wasn't expecting the logic to work, but these malteasers are rather nice - Thanks Martin.

So when he suggested I post the puzzle that has caused all productivity to dive in our building it only seemed fair.



Where does the extra man come from?

There are various websites out there that can tell you, but lets be honest, it only took me a couple of hours of work time to get there, so don't cheat straight away.

Tesco Charity of the Year - The British Red Cross

This year Tesco is supporting the British Red Cross and as part of that they've produced a short video that they'll be playing in their stores. It sums up a little of the Red Cross activity in this country, and more to the point goes a long way to explain why I'm still involved after ten and a half years.

The Red Cross cares for people in crisis. Somedays that crisis is a scraped knee. Somedays it's a burnt down house. People like me will be there, because we all believe that people deserve to be loved and cared for, and that it's worth spending our spare time to do so.

So now you know.

Watch the video here

I saw a Blue Tit in the garden

And no, like the Thrush, it's not a medical problem.

You know who you are. :-)

I'm ill, I'm bored and I have nothing interesting to blog right now so here's a survey.

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are religious (90%).

Stereotypes Young Professional 71% Hippie 57% Prep 46%

Life Experience Sex 8% Substances 8% Travel 25%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 13% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated G. By the way, your hottness rank is 57%, hotter than 82% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

I'm a little concerned about being more artistic than engineer - given my whole career choice and the fact that, even if I do say so myself, I'm actually a pretty good engineer. I guess that means I would make an awesome artist!

Persistance - I like that in a man

The Thrush is back.

I've tried sneezing at it, but that doesn't seem to have helped. However, it's fairly effective at getting everyone else to leave me alone so it was worth a try.

It’s 0850 and already I’ve had a random day

Whilst forwarding on an email from a friend who is asking people to collect tumble dryer fluff for Scouts (if you can help let me know…) a Thrush started head butting the window. Not once, but constantly – it’s been going for 50 minutes now. It’ll have to stop soon due to concussion. The window has a reflective film so it presumably thinks it’s attacking another male bird – it being the season and all.

I’ve never seen (or actually looked at) a thrush this close before – I’m reliably told that it’s a thrush by my staff manager. It’s a beautiful bird, but it’s not having the best day.

A colleague has suggested that it hasn’t stopped yet because it’s blonde. I suspect it’s more to do with the fact that it’s male.

Hats

I spent this weekend at SoulNet. It's a retreat for youth leaders/workers/ministers.

It's not designed to be a training thing - it's an opportunity to meet with God in a bit of time without worrying about whether the kids are 'getting it' this time or, as is more likely, actually throwing things at each other.
It's a time to praise God and let other people worry about whether there are enough donuts. As always it was a refreshing reminder that God actually is there in the midst of it all.

It was also fun to get away with some of the other leaders. However, when you put a group of leaders together in one chalet you realise quite quickly that the craziness that you thought was actually down to the kids is actually more to do with the leaders...

But then everyone looks for Elves in forests don't they? Particularly ones that ride two headed lions? Surrounded by pheasants in hats that look like ducks?

Quote of the day

Alice: You have to look at the right side of things
Mary: I normally find that I look at the bottom side and then it all falls on top of me

This sums up my diary/life/wardrobe at the moment. There are lots of things that I desperately want to do, and somehow they all clash. They don't clash in a way that makes it easy to choose between events; They clash when I really want to be at both things. Somehow, things never clash with boring meetings...

There's so much in the world to see/change - how to prioritise? And more to the point how do you stop doing something once you've started without feeling like you've missed something? I'm lucky to be involved in lots of great things, with lots of great people.

Next step is getting them to all work to my timetable. Yes, that's a sensible plan. According to an email we had today parts of the US have altered the day when they change their clocks - so how hard can it be to get the town of Reading to live by my diary? Although then I'd have to keep up with it too - foiled again.


I have a suspicion that I've blogged about this issue before. Nothing like consistency!

What I did on my weekend

I feel like I should blog about this weekend but I’m not sure what to say. So, to summarise my activities:

I went to see Hot Fuzz. It's very funny – go see it, it defies classification and I’m just guessing but I think it’s one of those great films that American’s just won’t get. Watch out for those decaffeinated corpses.

I had dinner at the London Street Brasserie with Alice. It's sooooo nice – definitely recommended. If you go before 7pm there’s a set menu that is a bit cheaper but still delicious. We had rather a lot of food by accident and sticky toffee pudding to die for, or at least to go back for again sometime.

I also went to a Tim Minchin gig. Again, very funny, although why, oh why, do comedians seem to think that they have to be crude to be funny? He was funny and tended to spoil it by needing to be crudely controversial, I just don’t get it. Are things really funnier when they’re crude? Or am I just getting/continuing to be prudish?

I had lunch with the Bishop, along with the rest of the newly renamed parish pastoral council. Again, fantastic food and the revelation that for lent the Bishop has given up checking his emails before Breakfast!

I helped run a confirmation session on the gift of wisdom, which left me feeing very unwise, but my group finally started to actually talk - Woohoo!


How did I fit that into a weekend? Hmmm… Must be time for more coffee so that I can start planning the next one... :-)

Work.

I really like being an engineer. I'm currently really enjoying it. Sometimes I even know what I’m doing. However, not as often as other people think I do.

And why am I enjoying my work at the moment? – I can’t help but think that it might just have something to do with the fact that I prayed about it. This happens every time, and yet I still somehow manage to completely forget to pray.

The sign that I’ve uploaded is one that always amuses me. It can be found on the edge of all deep water tanks. I’d love to know how it ended up with such random terminology – that must have been a brilliant meeting. I’m glad I wasn’t there.

I've just spilt a satsuma down my front.

What?

Just thought you might be interested.

Bottoms up, chests out, best foot forward.

Anyone would think that car manufacturers didn’t design their cars to allow for people getting all the doors iced shut. What an oversight. Essentially what this meant was that yesterday I had to access my car through the boot. Very glamerous - Bum through the sunroof, arms flailing, nosefirst into the steering column and finally upside down in the drivers seat (by which I mean feet still in the back of the car while I half lay on the seat).

In hindsight washing the windows the night before was a mistake, but then there’s also the argument about actually being able to see out once in a while. Thankfully the doors would open by the time I got to work in High Wycombe.

Speaking of High Wycombe... anyone been there? Anyone been there in the snow? It’s a nightmare. I’ve travelled 25 miles and got here. Half the office who live within 5 miles of here are stuck because of sheet ice on the hills. I think I’m leaving early today as the snow is getting heavier and heavier and I really don’t want to sleep under my desk tonight! And it's only 0845 - pretty early to make that kind of decision!

On the plus side it is very pretty out there.

Binge Drinking

Have decided doing things on the spur of the moment is a good thing. I’d also like to point out here and now that if I catch a cold it’s Alice’s fault.

The cause of this accusation started yesterday morning with an email titled ‘fancy a pint?’ in a sort of ‘we should catch up’ sort of a way.
Alice responded with ‘now?’
I said ‘tonight?’
And the rest is history.

We didn’t drink much, only about 4 units each, in 3 drinks, but that apparently counts as binge drinking in some researchers eyes. Probably not something that is recommended on a school night. Oh, apparently I’m a grown up and should refer to such things as a work night. Although that implies that I’m working (and not, for example, blogging).

I’m not normally very good at doing random things and actually seeing the world, I should do random stuff more often. Not today though. Today I must actually do some work.

And on the cold issue, part of the reason for drinking was to kill off the bugs causing Alice’s cold. That’s how it works isn’t it? Just as well neither of us is writing up a PhD on immune system type stuff...Oh, well I've not understood any of Alice's work for years.

So that still makes it Alice’s fault for misleading me.

Networks

Whether I like it or not I am part of a generation of people who communicate electronically. The online network is another way of creating a social network and learning more about friends through seeing what they say about each other.

I’ve never really worked out why I blog – I think it’s mostly down to the fact that I find it fascinating to people watch on the net by reading other people’s blogs. It’s a fun way of gauging what other people’s opinions are and using that as a jumping off point to research and inform my own.

However, reading and writing blogs is one thing but being part of a social networking site is another. Until about 2 weeks ago.

I’d been holding out against it – After all I don’t need to be a member of these things to see friends’ sites. But turns out that that wasn’t enough, if I wanted to comment I needed to be registered. So I’m now on myspace and facebook.

In the process I’ve discovered a new idea of what heaven is like – all my friends, from across the world, networking in the same place. One log on. One name. One God.

Let it snow Let it snow Let it snow.

Oh look the country has shut down. It must have been snowing.

The English are really rather bad at snow. There was about 2" on the car this morning, but at work there's barely 0.5". However at work we have no heating. And the caretaker is in Australia. I can't see him coming back to sort the boiler out.

Ho hum. That's enough moaning. (Although, lets make it clear - I really don't like snow. It's cold. I don't like being cold).

Not been up to a lot else recently. Had a meeting for the confirmation program at Church last night which was better than expected, although I'm still a little concerned. Unfortunately as a member of the Parish management group I suddenly developed a list of financial requirements for the program. And as ever, I'm concerned that so many Catholic Programs seem to happen without half the leaders even considering prayer. It's no wonder we end up with a weird reputation amoungst our neighbours. Ah well, I guess I'll jsut have to pray for them all... Anyone who feels like helping.... :-)

Government Petitions.

Sometimes you come across one that is simply brilliant. Like this. Mainly brilliant because they actually replied to it.

Free Monkeys on the NHS.


What do you mean you don't surf the government petitions website? I blame the BBC magazine monitor.

Catholic bishops have prettier dresses than Anglican ones.

I can’t help but think that there might have been more that I should have got out of the service last night ;-)

It was the Commissioning service for Regenerate which is a mission into Reading, where all churches, all denominations, are involved. We’re going to run a summer barbeque for our neighbours as a thank you for the way they put up with us parking in front of all their houses and causing parking chaos once a week.

What amused me about the service was spotting the stereotypes that churches, particularly ministers slot into. The Catholic priests all looked smart in their still black suits. They all gave the impression of having washed behind their ears especially for the occasion and were hunting in packs. The Anglicans and Baptists however – I don’t think I’ve ever seen beards like them in the Catholic Church, and on the most part a black suit really meant a dodgy grey, and they were to be found wandering about by themselves looking a little lost and chatting to anyone they found. All a bit bizaare.

People from various churches were harder to identify. Apart from the Salvation Army. The Uniform really does give them away…

Motivation

Motivation seems to be sadly lacking at the moment. Instead of doing what I'm meant to do I end up with all sorts of other things done. None of which are that exciting.

Like posting meaningless blog entries instead of writing up my CPD (Continuous professional development). Why is it so hard to write up stuff that I know like the back of my hand?

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Dreams

I don’t normally remember my dreams. This makes last night all the more random.

I had a nightmare. About an RC drawing.

An RC drawing is a engineering drawing showing the metal bars that are placed within concrete structures to give them tensile strength - on it’s own concrete isn’t very good, but with reinforcement it rocks.

So it’s a weird thing to dream about. Not least, because producing those drawings isn’t my job.

I’ve been trying to remember the details. It seemed to be something to do with people dying because they couldn’t find the drawing. And for some reason, I knew where it was but I couldn’t find the words or communicate with anyone.

And no, work isn’t stressing me out at all at the moment, why do you ask? ;-)

Virus

There is a virus on the network somewhere in the global company. It hasn’t caused any problems in the UK at all. However, IT’s attempts to upgrade the software have so far cost thousands in terms of lost manhours within the UK. Apparently it’s harder than I thought to upgrade virus protection.

Grrrrrrrr.

Currently I’d rather have the virus. At least I'd know where I stood and could officially not do any work.

Bags.

Sometimes I think I work for a global American business. Occasionally I am reminded that actually it’s a British engineering company. Today is one of those days.

Working in the environment sector we’re always keen to look like we actually are sustainable and environmentally friendly. Putting our money where out mouth is.

So today we all got given our very own shopping bag.

It’s not bad actually – blue canvas with the company logo on the side. The idea is that we can stop using plastic bags so much. It’s already been determined that the bags will make pretty good wine bottle carriers.

But somehow personal shopping bags seems more British than American. Is that stereotyping?


*I’ve just realised that I have referred to the business using the words ‘us’, ‘our’ and ‘we’ – It’s official, I’m a company girl. But I still have no intention of learning to play golf.

Kevin Lilley RIP

Kevin was in the same hall as me in my first year at uni. He was one of the same crowd as me, but I've not really seen him much since graduation. It's weird to think that he isn't about anymore, but good to know that he benefited from the charity set up in memory of another friend, Bryony, from the same group of friends and hall of residence, who also died of cancer.

Skittles. A very English game. And a slightly random one.

It’s good fun though – and I’m not just saying that because I won a pack of biscuits. The fact that I wasn’t drinking may have helped, that and the fact that I was hitting the skittles rather than those people at the far end of the alley. Rubber balls may be quieter than wooden ones, but wooden ones do have the advantage of not bouncing.

But it’s ok, of all the places to risk injury in a room full of 30 odd first aiders is surely a good place to do it….

And when I say odd, I really mean it.

USB gadgets

For Christmas (or was it for birthday ?) my brother gave me a USB powered heated coaster. The idea is that you plug it into your PC and it heats up. Any mug you place on it is therefore kept warm and you never have that horrible mouthful of cold coffee.

Great so far.

It may be a little gadgety – but hey, I’m an engineer. I’m not as gadget orientated as say, the electrical or mechanical guys, but they’re still fun.

It’s currently on my desk next to my USB powered fan, my mobile phone holder, my helicopter shaped pencil sharpener (when you press the tail the rotors spin round - and all supporting the Air Ambulance!)

Now the only problem with the USB powered coaster is that it doesn’t actually keep my coffee warm. A significant oversight. Apparently it only works if you have a steel mug. Now, the only time I would consider using a steel mug would be when camping. And, despite appearances, I don’t actually live in the office.

So I’m trying to work out how to set up the heating element of the coaster with the USB fan so that I have a sort of portable heater.

Problem is that since we ‘engineered’ the fan blades for grater efficiency (post it notes attached to each blade to provide a greater surface area) it now tends to fly across the desk when you switch it on unless you’ve selotaped it down first.

The trials of work. I don’t know how I cope...

Questionnaire

1.How old will you be in five years? From now? 31. But I feel the question needs more clarrification.

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? My colleagues, the Net Leaders and anyone else who makes it to the pub

3. How tall are you? 5'7"

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Sleeping more?

5. What's the last movie you saw? The Holiday.

6. Who was the last person you called? Dad, to let him know what I’d volunteered him for in his absense.

7. Who was the last person to call you? A supplier for work

8. What was the last text message you received? ‘There is also chocolate’

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? no idea.

10. Do you prefer to call or text? Depends on what it is for. Normally text.

11. What were you doing at two last night? Sleeping

12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married

13. When was the last time you saw your mom? Last Night for food

14. What time did you wake up today? 6am.

15. What are you wearing right now? Brown trousers, brown and blue stripey jumper, white shirt, brown boots.

16. What is your favorite christmas song? That Elton John one.

17. Where is your favorite place to be? I’ve been told before that just saying ‘bed’ to that one gives the wrong impression.

18. Where is your least favorite place to be? Anywhere where I have to talk into a mic.

19. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? other than the answer to no. 17???

20. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Still in Reading, a Chartered Engineer and, hopefully, married with kids

21. Do you tan or burn? Burn.

22. What did you fear was going to get you as a child? Using the telephone.

23. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Trying to get a cork out of a corkscrew. Using another corkscrew and then a socket set. I’d explain more, but you mostly needed to be there.

24. How many TVs do you have in your house? Currently 3. All in the living room. 2 of them even work.

25. How big is your bed? Double.

26. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Desktop

27. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I wear PJs.

28. What color are your sheets? Orange

29. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

30. What is your favorite season? Spring.

31. What do you like about fall? Colours

32. What do you like about winter? It being acceptable to go to bed early.

33. What do you like about the summer? Daylight!

34. What do you like about spring? Smells.

35. How many states have you lived in? one. New England.

36. What cities/towns have you lived in? Reading, Boston, Wokingham, Birmingham

37. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Socks

38. Are you a social person? Ish. Depends on how much sleep I’ve had.

39.What was the last thing you ate? Porridge with golden syrup.

40. <---- where'd it go!?

41. What is your favorite ice cream? Have to be in the right mood for ice cream – no particular favourite. Just not cherry.

42. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate.

43. What is your favorite kind of soup? Depends on the soup. Turkey soup was good but I also like Potato and Leek

44. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB&J sandwich? Probably Strawberry.

45. Do you like Chinese food? Yes. Mmmmmmmm.

46. Do you like coffee? This is a trick question? YES!

47. How many glasses of water a day do you drink? Depends. 2 or 3.

48. What do you drink in the morning? Water at home then coffee at work.

49. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? I have no idea. I’m asleep.

50. Do you know how to play poker? No, never really needed to learn,

51. Do you like to cuddle? Yes :-)

52. Have you ever been to Canada? No

53. Do you have an addictive personality? Not particualrly.

54. Do you eat out or at home more often? At home

55. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? Yes, at least two other people in my office. We have to make sure we don’t all bring cakes on the same day.

56. Do you want kids? Yes

57. Do you speak any other languages? Complete rambling nonsense. And some french.

58. Have you ever gotten stitches? No

59. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes – but only volunteer ones.

60. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool? Pool

61. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Window

62. Do you know how to drive stick? Does that mean manual? If so, yes.

63. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Books.

64. Do you wear any jewelry? Yes. A necklace and earrings.

65. What is your favorite TV show? Firefly or Doctor Who.

66. Can you roll your tongue? into what?

67. Who is the funniest person you know? I get the giggles with my housemate a lot – does that count?

68. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? sometimes. Mostly they sit on the shelf these days.

69. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Ringing.

70. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? No

71. Closest red thing to you? Coffee mug.

72. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes

73. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed

74. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? neither?

75. Do you flirt a lot? I don’t know. Don’t think I do these days.

76. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? nothing

77. What is your favorite food? Chcolate.

78. Can you change the oil on a car? No

79. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yes.

80. Have you ever run out of gas? No

81. What is your usual bedtime? I aim for 2200.

82. What was the last book you read? Fiction: Winter in Madrid, Non Fiction: God’s Big Picture.

83. Do you read the newspaper? The Online versions of several.

84. Do you have any magazines? I get my professional one – the NCE.

85. Do you watch soap operas? Hollyoaks. Sadly.

86. Do you dance in the car? no

87. What radio station did you last listen to? Radio 2

88. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? I’m at work, I don’t have any pictures here.

89. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? Some actions from a committee meeting

90. What is your favorite candle scent? no real preference

91. What is your favorite board game? Again, no real preference. I like jigsaws and they’re on a board. Or maybe backgammon.

92. When was the last time you attended church? Last Sunday.

93. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? one of my maths teachers.

94. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? Two weeks.

95. Who was the last person to do something extra special for you? Dunno. Probably Alice who organised some gig tickets for BNL and Tim Minchen.