Usefulness

A friend has just sent me some quotes from emails that I sent him dating back to 2002 when we were studying the same degree with most of the same modules and on most of the same committees in the chaplaincy. We basically ran the world.

Turns out that I was ever an idealistic soul. Just before graduation there is a note that says:

Don't worry about finishing the degree. It's a good thing. We get to go out into the real world and actually do useful stuff.

I wonder what I thought the useful stuff was going to be. I'm not sure I've done any of it.

They did it!

It's only taken them a few years to get round to it, but they finally made it. Mr and Mrs Fosker.

They had fish bowls of different sorts of sweets on each table to label them- I was on the Marshmallow table. I didn't drink much because I was too busy chatting and bouncing off the walls due to the sugar high. It turns out that sugar hangovers are worse than the alcoholic sort. :-s

Apparently I was the only person who looked at the water bottles, read the label and had visions of taking the bottle around some department store or other, and asking it's opinions on interior design as it has 'exceptional taste'. This might have had something to do with the aforementioned sugar high.

Randomness

What is the connection between a large plastic cutlass, a marriage proposal*, animal noises (with actions), baby photos and prayer?

A group of Christian youth leaders in the pub.

Noone ever seems to want to sit that close to us... wonder why ;-)

*For the record, I refused. He was only after my money.

Bumps and Bruises

In the Catholic Tradition confirmation candidates used to be slapped round the face by the Bishop in order to remind them that they needed to be brave when defending the faith.

Is there any second meaning to head butting a warderobe door? Is God trying to tell me something? I know I'm not that good at listening to him all the time, but this seems a little excessive...

I hope it doesn't bruise. At the moment it's just a cartoon style big red lump. What a way to start the week.

Jesus is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

Woohoooo!!

errm. I mean Hallelujah!

obviously.

Hungover without the drink

Hen dos. Random things. Ryan’s stag do was a lot more straightforward. At least on a stag do when someone compliments your errm… ‘assets’ you know where you stand (or look). I’ve never quite worked out how to react when a woman compliments them - Do you return the compliment? Does it become acceptable to stare? Or are you meant to be coy?

Apparently mine are apparently much envied so I think I’ll just enjoy the compliment without thinking about it too much!

Probably best not to say too much about the behaviour of everyone – except to say that it turns out that I really don’t need alcohol in my life to blend right in with the drunken people. However, as the main photographer of the evening there is no evidence to incriminate me. Jen is a bad influence, as is Charlie (but then, that’s not really news). I can’t say anything bad about Annette, as she’s my date for the wedding next week… ;-)

The theme of the night was ‘Married life – heaven or hell?’ so we were all dressed as angels and devils. Noone seemed to believe me that I am truly angelic and that the costume was just a reflection of the truth within, apart from the one comment of ‘well you do go to church so maybe you are more angelic’. Still chuckling to myself about that one.

Was a great night, but for someone who wasn’t drinking I seem to have a hangover. This is particularly unfair as Jen has already been on facebook to record that she doesn’t, and she’s normally under the table after one drink. My voice has also descended into a low growl - It’s probably due to the volume at which I was ‘singing’ along to the power ballads in the limo on the way home.

A good time was had by all.

The hen is apparently recovering well.

Skips.

Today I went to the pub for lunch. A colleague and I normally go every Friday, but tomorrow being a bank holiday meant that we needed to rearrange the day. We may not ever go again if she doesn't stop referring to my car share as my 'work husband' but that's a whole different issue.

I was happily sipping my lemonade when a skip lorry rolled up to the pub. From that point on I spent most of the conversation not listening to Clare at all, but looking at the way the lorry worked, how much space it needed and whether I could apply those factors and considerations to my detailed design work.

I'd say that I should get out more, but I'd probably end up watching more skip lorries...

I think I must be an engineer :-s

Worry

People worry about you, so you start wondering if they should be worrying.

You then worry that they can see something more than you can see in the situation – maybe they’re right after all and maybe you should be worried.

And the more you worry yourself into a mess, the more they worry, and the more of a mess they get into so you worry that they’re overdoing it and that it’s your fault because you’ve caused them to worry.

It’s all very worrying.

Maybe I should break the cycle and take all the advice given me in the last 24 hours – to eat nothing but fruit and veg, remember to take vitamin tablets, go home, to sleep, to listen to some music and to pray.

I note that work doesn't feature anywhere in the list :-)

me? a geek? huh?

Please find attached a link to Martha Freeman's myspace blog. If you don't know who she is then you should be ashamed :-)

I found it on someone elses blog (but not the gallifrey one forum, oh no - what makes you think I'm a member of that?) .

I should really develop a new hobby. Maybe one that even involves real people.

London

I’ve spent the weekend in London. It was exactly what I needed as I’m now back on full bounce.

Things started as they meant to go on Friday afternoon. Alice and I were due to meet at Paddington Station at 16:30. Now one of those things about Alice is that she has no sense of direction, mostly gets lost and is generally late. So I was a little worried when I got a text telling me that she thought she was going to be on time. If she got into town before I did then I’d never live it down.

Now, as you do when you’re going to be spending the whole weekend with someone it is normal to text continuously for the hour before you meet up. After all, you need something to talk about. Alice had decided that her train was supersonic and my timings were getting worse when I managed to get on a stopping train that was delayed. It stopped in all sorts of exciting places that I’d never heard of. I started to get worried that there were two Paddington stations and that I was going to the wrong one. Where was I going to end up?

I’ve never been happier to pull into Slough Station. At least I know where it is.

At about this point I got a text from Alice.

We're stuck behind a train in slough. Why anyone stops here is beyond me. ho hum. nap time, my old age is kicking in.

Alice’s supersonic train was stuck behind my painfully slow train. I was very much amused (which I might just have made clear to Alice, and the rest of the carriage). She was not so amused, but at least it meant that the laws of nature were not broken and that I was at the meeting point before Alice.

Only problem was that I was late too, thereby losing the moral high ground. You win some you lose some.


The rest of the weekend was great - went to see the Barenaked ladies with Alice and Seb on Friday (their last album was rubbish, but they still do a very good live show) followed by a drink to catch up with Seb. Very jealous that he gets to have occasional helicopter rides for work. Maybe there is something in this accountancy thing.

Saturday involved the Tate Britain. I’ve not been there since I was doing Art GCSE and it’s smaller than I remember. We spent ages wandering round and proved beyond doubt that Alice and I should not go to art galleries together. Things I liked were generally a little more abstract than her taste which seemed to involve pretty pictures.

And apparently the Victorians found this gallery incomprehensible. I’m with them on this one although I struggled with that whole gallery. look - Another painting where the sun has obscured everything else on the canvas. How innovative.

Some interesting exhibitions coming up though, so will probably go back to have more of a play. I can do cultured.

Update.

Apparently I haven’t blogged enough recently. People are starting to talk. The pause has been because I couldn’t think of anything interesting to write about that didn’t end up with me ranting about something or moaning. This is not to say that life is bad at the moment, I just seem to have got a little stressed by things. This is not entirely out of character.

The week has been punctuated by people who know me well enough saying things along the lines of

"You look awful"

"I’m a bit worried about you"

"You really should try relaxing"

People who don’t know me so well are just looking worried at me. All of which has really helped me to feel so much better about myself. No really.

Nothing like brutal honestly to make you want to hide underneath a blanket on the sofa watching archive Doctor Who episodes interspersed with Mysterious Cities of Gold off YouTube.

Ah yes, that was last night.

Thing is - this has been a good week. I’ve been down to site and seen my doodles drawn out in concrete (scary – they all seem to be a bit big. I really hope they’re all correct. Although I think that I still need to go on holiday over takeover, just in case it doesn’t all work - that’s March 2008. Anyone want to go away somewhere exotic that doesn’t have email or phones?).

I’ve even managed to get through some meetings I expected to be horrendous because I actually know my stuff on the topics (apparently some people believe what I tell them because I’m a ‘designer’. Please pray for them).

And yet still what I remember most about this week is the twit how tailgated me up the hill this morning (I have a 1 litre engine – I physically can’t go more than 20mph in most of High Wycombe. Back off Mr “My boot is bigger than your entire car” Audi.)

Just as well I’m away all weekend in London with old uni friends causing havoc (and trust me there's nothing like Cathsoc Graduates for causing havoc). Anyone who’s in London and fancies a pint/coffee/lunch this Saturday drop me a line – If you happen to be carrying chocolate so much the better :-D

Pencils

There is something about mechanical pencils that are just lovely, mine is a silver parker and is the only elegant thing I have on my desk. So I was understandably distraught when I lost it. It was one of those silly things – I had it in my hand, and then it wasn’t there. So I checked all the places that I normally lose it.

Is it in my coffee?
No. (I do sometimes get it confused with a spoon, not that I use spoons in my coffee)

Is it in the bin?
No.

Is it in my tissue box?
No. (You may laugh, but it’s crazy how often it ends up there – I think it’s making a nest)

Is it under my desk?
No. (But I can’t look too hard because I might pull out the network cable and cut off most of the room. And people have been really touchy about that recently)

Have I managed to throw it somewhere else?
No-one else has noticed a flying silver projectile, although it can’t be ruled out. The people sitting near me are getting used to me accidentally firing things across the desks – It’s got to the stage where other people will drop things when they’re talking to me in a sort of sympathetic response.

I was left upset and disorientated, and had to use a wooden pencil. Now, I’m sure that I’m not the only person who has this problem, but I tend to eat the ends of pencils. This is the primary reason that I use a mechanical one as even I can’t eat metal. However, when you eat a wooden pencil you run the risk of splinters. I’ve never got a pencil splinter yet, but I’m in no rush to get one either, I suspect they’d be painful.

So let’s all celebrate! My prodigal pencil has returned*. Let’s go kill the fatted calf and parrttttttyyyyyyy.



*I think that the fact that it was underneath my keyboard all the time is a detail that doesn’t need broadcasting.

So today is Friday ?

Last night on my way home I had a minor panic – I was sure it was Friday, and that meant I’d forgotten to interview someone, and more to the point reception hadn’t called me to remind me when said interviewee arrived. Not generally the best impression to give of the company.

It took a good couple of miles before I realised that it was actually Thursday and therefore I hadn’t forgotten to do anything (ok, so that’s a debatable point – there’s always something I’ve forgotten to do). I got home in a bit of a state and decided the best reaction to this whole panic involved hiding in my bed, in the hope that it would all make itself better and go away. I got up briefly to cook and eat Pizza before going back to bed.

When my alarm went this morning it was proved that the world was still in the wrong as it is apparently Friday. Again.

This wouldn’t be such a problem if I hadn’t also spent most of Tuesday being convinced it was Friday. The rest of the office was apparently much amused by my expressive comment of ‘Tuesday? What? Is that all?’

Surely it can’t be right to have three Fridays in a week?

It wasn't me.

bbc article

Whirrrrrrrrr whirrrrrrrr whirrrrrrr whirrrrrrrrr

If that was, say, a helicopter, that would be a good noise. As it was my car it was not such a welcome noise. Particularly given that my car doesn’t have rotor blades (How cool would that be?!).

So, that led to all sorts of excitement that basically proved, to all those people who weren’t aware, that I don’t have a clue about how my car works.

Firstly I woke up my housemate, J, who for someone who is really, really not a morning person, was an absolute star.

First job was to move the car out of the way of everyone else as I was blocking in the whole rest of the house – now how was I meant to know that the steering is locked when the keys aren’t in the ignition? These are details that I’ve never needed to know. However, J helped sort that one out – by telling me.
Mary’s learning point number 1.

We got the car moved and A went to work. Then my car share arrived. It was suggested that we tried jump starting the car. Somewhere in the house there are some jump leads. Somewhere. So J popped out to buy some more (we’ll now find the original ones this evening – them be da rules). They then tried to jump start the car (note, I had little to do with this – I just did what I was told).
Mary’s learning point number 2.

This didn’t work. I had already called the RAC, to get into the queue; A had suggested that would be a good idea as I could always cancel it later.

In due course, the RAC man turned up, said he knew exactly what the problem was – and proceeded to start the car. Apparently if you cold start and engine and only leave it running for a minute then the next time you start the car the engine might be flooded. It’s quite normal apparently. So swapping the cars round on the drive last night wasn’t the time saver it was meant to be. Ho hum.
Mary’s learning point number 3.

I’ve explained to my colleagues (now that I’m in the office) that I’m a civil engineer so not meant to understand things that move, and that I do know some things about my car – It’s blue, it has wheels and the petrol goes in the hole at the back. They are not looking that impressed.

And now, in the safety of the office I’ve just tripped over a flat bit of floor.

Sigh.

Extra Men and Chocolate

This morning a colleague was feeling a 'little' sleepy. By which I mean that stage of tiredness where you're bascially hyper (more so than me on a large bag of haribo). I explained to him that if he gave me chocolate then he'd feel better. I wasn't expecting the logic to work, but these malteasers are rather nice - Thanks Martin.

So when he suggested I post the puzzle that has caused all productivity to dive in our building it only seemed fair.



Where does the extra man come from?

There are various websites out there that can tell you, but lets be honest, it only took me a couple of hours of work time to get there, so don't cheat straight away.

Tesco Charity of the Year - The British Red Cross

This year Tesco is supporting the British Red Cross and as part of that they've produced a short video that they'll be playing in their stores. It sums up a little of the Red Cross activity in this country, and more to the point goes a long way to explain why I'm still involved after ten and a half years.

The Red Cross cares for people in crisis. Somedays that crisis is a scraped knee. Somedays it's a burnt down house. People like me will be there, because we all believe that people deserve to be loved and cared for, and that it's worth spending our spare time to do so.

So now you know.

Watch the video here

I saw a Blue Tit in the garden

And no, like the Thrush, it's not a medical problem.

You know who you are. :-)

I'm ill, I'm bored and I have nothing interesting to blog right now so here's a survey.

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are religious (90%).

Stereotypes Young Professional 71% Hippie 57% Prep 46%

Life Experience Sex 8% Substances 8% Travel 25%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 13% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated G. By the way, your hottness rank is 57%, hotter than 82% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

I'm a little concerned about being more artistic than engineer - given my whole career choice and the fact that, even if I do say so myself, I'm actually a pretty good engineer. I guess that means I would make an awesome artist!

Persistance - I like that in a man

The Thrush is back.

I've tried sneezing at it, but that doesn't seem to have helped. However, it's fairly effective at getting everyone else to leave me alone so it was worth a try.