Update.

Apparently I haven’t blogged enough recently. People are starting to talk. The pause has been because I couldn’t think of anything interesting to write about that didn’t end up with me ranting about something or moaning. This is not to say that life is bad at the moment, I just seem to have got a little stressed by things. This is not entirely out of character.

The week has been punctuated by people who know me well enough saying things along the lines of

"You look awful"

"I’m a bit worried about you"

"You really should try relaxing"

People who don’t know me so well are just looking worried at me. All of which has really helped me to feel so much better about myself. No really.

Nothing like brutal honestly to make you want to hide underneath a blanket on the sofa watching archive Doctor Who episodes interspersed with Mysterious Cities of Gold off YouTube.

Ah yes, that was last night.

Thing is - this has been a good week. I’ve been down to site and seen my doodles drawn out in concrete (scary – they all seem to be a bit big. I really hope they’re all correct. Although I think that I still need to go on holiday over takeover, just in case it doesn’t all work - that’s March 2008. Anyone want to go away somewhere exotic that doesn’t have email or phones?).

I’ve even managed to get through some meetings I expected to be horrendous because I actually know my stuff on the topics (apparently some people believe what I tell them because I’m a ‘designer’. Please pray for them).

And yet still what I remember most about this week is the twit how tailgated me up the hill this morning (I have a 1 litre engine – I physically can’t go more than 20mph in most of High Wycombe. Back off Mr “My boot is bigger than your entire car” Audi.)

Just as well I’m away all weekend in London with old uni friends causing havoc (and trust me there's nothing like Cathsoc Graduates for causing havoc). Anyone who’s in London and fancies a pint/coffee/lunch this Saturday drop me a line – If you happen to be carrying chocolate so much the better :-D

Pencils

There is something about mechanical pencils that are just lovely, mine is a silver parker and is the only elegant thing I have on my desk. So I was understandably distraught when I lost it. It was one of those silly things – I had it in my hand, and then it wasn’t there. So I checked all the places that I normally lose it.

Is it in my coffee?
No. (I do sometimes get it confused with a spoon, not that I use spoons in my coffee)

Is it in the bin?
No.

Is it in my tissue box?
No. (You may laugh, but it’s crazy how often it ends up there – I think it’s making a nest)

Is it under my desk?
No. (But I can’t look too hard because I might pull out the network cable and cut off most of the room. And people have been really touchy about that recently)

Have I managed to throw it somewhere else?
No-one else has noticed a flying silver projectile, although it can’t be ruled out. The people sitting near me are getting used to me accidentally firing things across the desks – It’s got to the stage where other people will drop things when they’re talking to me in a sort of sympathetic response.

I was left upset and disorientated, and had to use a wooden pencil. Now, I’m sure that I’m not the only person who has this problem, but I tend to eat the ends of pencils. This is the primary reason that I use a mechanical one as even I can’t eat metal. However, when you eat a wooden pencil you run the risk of splinters. I’ve never got a pencil splinter yet, but I’m in no rush to get one either, I suspect they’d be painful.

So let’s all celebrate! My prodigal pencil has returned*. Let’s go kill the fatted calf and parrttttttyyyyyyy.



*I think that the fact that it was underneath my keyboard all the time is a detail that doesn’t need broadcasting.

So today is Friday ?

Last night on my way home I had a minor panic – I was sure it was Friday, and that meant I’d forgotten to interview someone, and more to the point reception hadn’t called me to remind me when said interviewee arrived. Not generally the best impression to give of the company.

It took a good couple of miles before I realised that it was actually Thursday and therefore I hadn’t forgotten to do anything (ok, so that’s a debatable point – there’s always something I’ve forgotten to do). I got home in a bit of a state and decided the best reaction to this whole panic involved hiding in my bed, in the hope that it would all make itself better and go away. I got up briefly to cook and eat Pizza before going back to bed.

When my alarm went this morning it was proved that the world was still in the wrong as it is apparently Friday. Again.

This wouldn’t be such a problem if I hadn’t also spent most of Tuesday being convinced it was Friday. The rest of the office was apparently much amused by my expressive comment of ‘Tuesday? What? Is that all?’

Surely it can’t be right to have three Fridays in a week?

It wasn't me.

bbc article

Whirrrrrrrrr whirrrrrrrr whirrrrrrr whirrrrrrrrr

If that was, say, a helicopter, that would be a good noise. As it was my car it was not such a welcome noise. Particularly given that my car doesn’t have rotor blades (How cool would that be?!).

So, that led to all sorts of excitement that basically proved, to all those people who weren’t aware, that I don’t have a clue about how my car works.

Firstly I woke up my housemate, J, who for someone who is really, really not a morning person, was an absolute star.

First job was to move the car out of the way of everyone else as I was blocking in the whole rest of the house – now how was I meant to know that the steering is locked when the keys aren’t in the ignition? These are details that I’ve never needed to know. However, J helped sort that one out – by telling me.
Mary’s learning point number 1.

We got the car moved and A went to work. Then my car share arrived. It was suggested that we tried jump starting the car. Somewhere in the house there are some jump leads. Somewhere. So J popped out to buy some more (we’ll now find the original ones this evening – them be da rules). They then tried to jump start the car (note, I had little to do with this – I just did what I was told).
Mary’s learning point number 2.

This didn’t work. I had already called the RAC, to get into the queue; A had suggested that would be a good idea as I could always cancel it later.

In due course, the RAC man turned up, said he knew exactly what the problem was – and proceeded to start the car. Apparently if you cold start and engine and only leave it running for a minute then the next time you start the car the engine might be flooded. It’s quite normal apparently. So swapping the cars round on the drive last night wasn’t the time saver it was meant to be. Ho hum.
Mary’s learning point number 3.

I’ve explained to my colleagues (now that I’m in the office) that I’m a civil engineer so not meant to understand things that move, and that I do know some things about my car – It’s blue, it has wheels and the petrol goes in the hole at the back. They are not looking that impressed.

And now, in the safety of the office I’ve just tripped over a flat bit of floor.

Sigh.

Extra Men and Chocolate

This morning a colleague was feeling a 'little' sleepy. By which I mean that stage of tiredness where you're bascially hyper (more so than me on a large bag of haribo). I explained to him that if he gave me chocolate then he'd feel better. I wasn't expecting the logic to work, but these malteasers are rather nice - Thanks Martin.

So when he suggested I post the puzzle that has caused all productivity to dive in our building it only seemed fair.



Where does the extra man come from?

There are various websites out there that can tell you, but lets be honest, it only took me a couple of hours of work time to get there, so don't cheat straight away.

Tesco Charity of the Year - The British Red Cross

This year Tesco is supporting the British Red Cross and as part of that they've produced a short video that they'll be playing in their stores. It sums up a little of the Red Cross activity in this country, and more to the point goes a long way to explain why I'm still involved after ten and a half years.

The Red Cross cares for people in crisis. Somedays that crisis is a scraped knee. Somedays it's a burnt down house. People like me will be there, because we all believe that people deserve to be loved and cared for, and that it's worth spending our spare time to do so.

So now you know.

Watch the video here

I saw a Blue Tit in the garden

And no, like the Thrush, it's not a medical problem.

You know who you are. :-)

I'm ill, I'm bored and I have nothing interesting to blog right now so here's a survey.

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted. As for specific personality traits, you are religious (90%).

Stereotypes Young Professional 71% Hippie 57% Prep 46%

Life Experience Sex 8% Substances 8% Travel 25%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 13% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated G. By the way, your hottness rank is 57%, hotter than 82% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

I'm a little concerned about being more artistic than engineer - given my whole career choice and the fact that, even if I do say so myself, I'm actually a pretty good engineer. I guess that means I would make an awesome artist!

Persistance - I like that in a man

The Thrush is back.

I've tried sneezing at it, but that doesn't seem to have helped. However, it's fairly effective at getting everyone else to leave me alone so it was worth a try.

It’s 0850 and already I’ve had a random day

Whilst forwarding on an email from a friend who is asking people to collect tumble dryer fluff for Scouts (if you can help let me know…) a Thrush started head butting the window. Not once, but constantly – it’s been going for 50 minutes now. It’ll have to stop soon due to concussion. The window has a reflective film so it presumably thinks it’s attacking another male bird – it being the season and all.

I’ve never seen (or actually looked at) a thrush this close before – I’m reliably told that it’s a thrush by my staff manager. It’s a beautiful bird, but it’s not having the best day.

A colleague has suggested that it hasn’t stopped yet because it’s blonde. I suspect it’s more to do with the fact that it’s male.

Hats

I spent this weekend at SoulNet. It's a retreat for youth leaders/workers/ministers.

It's not designed to be a training thing - it's an opportunity to meet with God in a bit of time without worrying about whether the kids are 'getting it' this time or, as is more likely, actually throwing things at each other.
It's a time to praise God and let other people worry about whether there are enough donuts. As always it was a refreshing reminder that God actually is there in the midst of it all.

It was also fun to get away with some of the other leaders. However, when you put a group of leaders together in one chalet you realise quite quickly that the craziness that you thought was actually down to the kids is actually more to do with the leaders...

But then everyone looks for Elves in forests don't they? Particularly ones that ride two headed lions? Surrounded by pheasants in hats that look like ducks?

Quote of the day

Alice: You have to look at the right side of things
Mary: I normally find that I look at the bottom side and then it all falls on top of me

This sums up my diary/life/wardrobe at the moment. There are lots of things that I desperately want to do, and somehow they all clash. They don't clash in a way that makes it easy to choose between events; They clash when I really want to be at both things. Somehow, things never clash with boring meetings...

There's so much in the world to see/change - how to prioritise? And more to the point how do you stop doing something once you've started without feeling like you've missed something? I'm lucky to be involved in lots of great things, with lots of great people.

Next step is getting them to all work to my timetable. Yes, that's a sensible plan. According to an email we had today parts of the US have altered the day when they change their clocks - so how hard can it be to get the town of Reading to live by my diary? Although then I'd have to keep up with it too - foiled again.


I have a suspicion that I've blogged about this issue before. Nothing like consistency!