life goes on?

How is it that when something bad happens for the right reasons, even for your own reasons it still hurts? When you can be almost sure that if it happened any other way it would be worse..?

I guess it's not really a new concept. Bad things happen. It's not often they happen and you actually get some kind of a say about what those things are and what they mean. Generally they happen to you. And there's no way you can influnce it. It's literally in the hands of the Gods (as it were)

So why is it that you can be upset by something that you are sure is the right thing. If you're pretty sure that the good outcome in the end (feels like that'll be years away) will be worth the pain at the moment?

The positive side is that I have a friend who knows precisely what it feels like to go through a painful time in the hope/knowledge that it will be for the best in the end.

And I can't believe that I've just compared spliting up with Nick to Jesus' crucifiction...!

aging...

Uh Oh

I’m getting old.

Yesterday was my birthday. This is not what makes me old (except in a purely physcial sense). What makes me old is the knowledge that I really am turning into my mum. There’s no excaping it. We look and think in similar ways.
What makes me old is the realisation that I don’t think that this is a bad thing. In fact, I’m actually proud to be like her… now how weird is that? That’s not meant to happen is it? But both my parents are great people… I could do a lot worse!

Mum says I’m turning into Gran though… not so sure that that’s a good thing… as I really don’t want to be a teacher…

I've been thinking....

....and it's all my brother's fault.

He's started talking about staying in academia (haha! And Mum thought I was expensive...). The main reason for this change of heart (at least as far as he's concerned - it's been blindingly obvious tot eh rest of us for years) is that teaching isn't as bad, scary, and impossible as he had once thought.

So, this got me thinking. He's tried his hand at helping a friend through their course, and as a result has found a possible new path for his life that he would not otherwise have considered.

Does this mean I have to try some of the things I always said I wouldn't do?

There is a limit on that though..

• I always said I couldn't do youth work.. so obviously I'm not involved in Youthnet at all...err....
  
• And I always said I'd never move back home from Birmingham..err...opps...
  
• But trust me on this one I really am never going to get a tattoo.... honest...
  

I guess it's tht whoe expect the unexpected and don't let yourself be pigeonholed. Even by your own mind. Which means that me and my mind are blatently at odds.

It's now worked out how to make me do stuff I really don't want to.. bother.

I guess it could make life a challenge though...

Answered prayer...

And yes...

Alleluia!

Amen Lord!

and any other cheesey expression of delight that you can think of...

I am moving job. I am leaving the world of hydraulic modelling and moving back into civil engineering.. well, at least I think I am. No-one has included me in on any of the emails that have organised this feat so anything could happen. The first I knew that it was actually happening was when the secretary called me to ask if I wanted to keep my phne number (to which the answer is no... that way no-one from modelling will ever be able to find me...;-))

However, as of Monday I will once again be a civil engineer working on a big tender for a WwTW and pipeline in Maidstone and Broadstairs. Somewhere near Kent international airpost (yes, apparently it does have one.. I always knew Kent was in France so I guess it's international anyway)

So tonight I'm going to Oxford to celebrate Alice's birthday and my new job. She runs her college bar. Pound a pint. Pound a shot. oh dear. She also likes lock ins apparently. Oh dear oh dear.

Should be fun though... just don't expect me to post again for a while... I'll need a recovery period...