In Heaven the postit notes will be great – they won’t fall off !

So you put 6 women in a room, and ask them to look at a passage in Revelation and somehow inevitably the discussion goes crazy.

We started off talking about sheep and goats. So far so good.

The sheep and the goats will be divided. Most people would probably move on from here but after about 10 minutes of discussion we were still working out the best way to distinguish the two species. It was decided that actually checking their tails to distinguish them would be easier than making cheese from all of them and tasting it. Not to mention a whole lot quicker. We just have to hope that they wouldn’t be pegged up by their tails, because once you unpegged them they’d probably run off.

Then of course there’s purgatory to discuss – I’ve struggled for a long time to care much about whether purgatory exists – after all it shouldn’t change how I live now anyway. But finally, an analogy that makes a kind of sense – once the sheep and the goats have been divided there’s the sheep dip to pass through...

And then there are the gates of heaven to provide a photo opportunity.

And all that was interspersed with singing the theme tune from the Poddington peas. (Heaven is perfect, Eden was perfect. There are peas in gardens. Honestly, there's logic in there somewhere.)

Down at the bottom of the garden,
Among the birds and the bees,
A little lot of little people,
They call the Poddington Peas.

There’s Creepy, Black Eye Pea and Dumpy.
Keep it a secret now please.
There’s Zippy, Happy and there’s Sweepy.
And all the Poddington Peas!

The Poddington Peas!

How on earth we’re going to turn any of this into a sensible session for the young people next week is a problem for Friday when we try to plan it before spending all evening watching Red Dwarf. This isn't going to get any more sensible is it...?

Rock Paper Scissors - the ultimate decision making tool.

I'm not that good at making decisions that affect myself. YouthNet leaders have been known to make decisions about which pub to visit based on the game Rock, Paper, Scissors when we can't come to an agreement any other way.

It turns out the game itself it's less uncommon than I thought. There's a league in the states, with referees and prize money.

So I'm taking part in a global sport. Not just putting off decisions. :-)

Go me.

Times Online Article - All together now . . . rock, paper, scissors

The Weekend

I spent the weekend in Birmingham again. It’s quite nice up there you know – lots of interesting attractions, lots of people to keep you entertained, and one particular person who manages to be both an attraction and to entertain me all at once. I shall be in Birmingham more often in future :-)

So I was up there to see the certain someone, to go to a birthday party (for which I forgot the present – must remember to post it sometime) and to meet someone else for lunch (I’m developing quite a circle of annual lunch dates – really must get better at meeting up with these people). In between all that managed to watch Eurovision (I wonder who they’ll vote for – oh Quelle Surprise. For an account of the entries... take a look at troubled diva's post), some of the Grand Prix (well, dozed through it whilst making confused comments) and went to a cheesy Christian Musical (where I was asked, of all things, what would happen if a terrorist bomb bit a sewage works).

So i'm not sure what to blog about. Sorry.

I also saw a marmite tanker on the motorway. I've never seen a marmite tanker before :-)

Doodle Analysis

Tonight in a meeting I was complimented on the intricacy of my doodling. Apparently the scale and complexity was impressive.

So I decided to analyse it. This is a picture of some of my doodle:


According to the BBC H2G2 I am a quiet individual who doesn't like to stand out in a crowd. This is because I start drawing at the edge of the page (it just expands to cover the whole page).

It also says that very detailed doodles are often drawn by people who have an obsessive nature, and who simply will not let go of their ambitions or loved ones. They are also likely to be jottings of highly introverted people.

However, according to this site the geometric shapes indicate an organised and efficient mind, possible even with a sense of direction and purpose. Now this sounds more like it. All the squares apparently represent the formal, mathematical, scientific order of the universe. I'm not sure what that actually says about me though.

So I'm quiet, introverted, efficient, organised and obsessive. Oh Good. That doesn't sound like me at all.

:-s

Gardening.

They let me have a saw. It had a curved blade and I ‘may’ have pretended it was a pirate sword once or twice. I didn’t chop down a whole tree though, just a little bit of one, but it was fun. The fact that I cut my finger while putting the sheath back on the saw was unfortunate, and did seem to worry some of the family. Whereas I was trying to decide what sort of bleed it was – I decided on arterial.

This weekend was the Gardening weekend when the whole family (or perhaps more accurately, those in the country at the time) descend on Gran’s house and ‘do’ the garden. This year there were 8 of us, and about 50 manhours later we’d finished the list. Gran kept saying I should try being constructive and plant stuff instead of just weeding and cutting branches off trees. She evidently doesn’t know me that well. Admittedly mum’s comment was fair. Whilst I weeded out long grasses that were in seed she said something along the lines of ‘it would make more sense if you took your hayfever tablet before doing that’.

The other thing that marked the weekend was the interrogation from both Mum and Gran. Starting with ‘So what’s his name’ and moving onto ‘So it’s not just lust then’. And people wonder why I’m turned out as I have. I blame the parents. :-D

Why I should probably not be allowed to drive.

• Open car door.
• Sit in driver’s seat
• Put keys in ignition.
• Put on Seat belt
• Check mirrors
• Release handbrake
• Reverse down hill

Everything was going well until I eased onto the gas to go forward up the hill and out of the car park.

These things are so much simpler when you’ve remembered to switch the engine on.

Today I became a real engineer

This is what I was told as I was handed one of these

It's a big day for me, I'd like to thank my mum, my hairdresser...

Old Children's TV

Last night people came round to our house to watch DVDs. We watched Morph, then some Fraggle Rock, followed by Dangermouse before finally moving onto Button Moon.

Oh yes, we projected them all onto a large screen in the living room . It was great. Thanks to Gemma for providing the Fraggle Rock DVD, the rest are all mine :-D

Unfortunately Suz informed us last night that Sharkey and George has not been released on DVD yet, and worse there are currently no plans to do so! So we all just had to eat lots of chocolate ice cream instead. There is a petition for that though... (for Sharkey and George DVDs, not the ice cream).

Oh I'm a simple child. :-)

Problem being that now I would far rather watch more dangermouse than go and help lead a confirmation session. I'm not sure how I'd explain that to the other leaders...

0550

0550.

It’s a fairly random number.

It’s also the time of day that I’ve been waking up every work day for about 2 weeks now. It means I’m awake to hear the alarm go at 0600.

I am not impressed.

Yesterday it meant that I sorted out my ‘to be filed’ heap before going to work, much to the amusement of my housemate who looked at all the piles of paper on my bed and accused me of being mad. Which given that she's trying to talk Bosnian to everyone whilst singing the milky bar song is quite a statement.

Things were not helped by the fact that I didn’t manage to get to town to buy files to put the heaps in, so last night I then had to put it all back together into a pile on the floor that looked a whole lot like the original mess.

And so the cycle of life continues.

I am tired.

Which Disney Princess are you?

You are Jasmine. You are loyal and would visit the ends of the earth for what you believe. You would never let obstacles stand in the way of true love.

Quiz link

How sweet.

Usefulness

A friend has just sent me some quotes from emails that I sent him dating back to 2002 when we were studying the same degree with most of the same modules and on most of the same committees in the chaplaincy. We basically ran the world.

Turns out that I was ever an idealistic soul. Just before graduation there is a note that says:

Don't worry about finishing the degree. It's a good thing. We get to go out into the real world and actually do useful stuff.

I wonder what I thought the useful stuff was going to be. I'm not sure I've done any of it.

They did it!

It's only taken them a few years to get round to it, but they finally made it. Mr and Mrs Fosker.

They had fish bowls of different sorts of sweets on each table to label them- I was on the Marshmallow table. I didn't drink much because I was too busy chatting and bouncing off the walls due to the sugar high. It turns out that sugar hangovers are worse than the alcoholic sort. :-s

Apparently I was the only person who looked at the water bottles, read the label and had visions of taking the bottle around some department store or other, and asking it's opinions on interior design as it has 'exceptional taste'. This might have had something to do with the aforementioned sugar high.

Randomness

What is the connection between a large plastic cutlass, a marriage proposal*, animal noises (with actions), baby photos and prayer?

A group of Christian youth leaders in the pub.

Noone ever seems to want to sit that close to us... wonder why ;-)

*For the record, I refused. He was only after my money.

Bumps and Bruises

In the Catholic Tradition confirmation candidates used to be slapped round the face by the Bishop in order to remind them that they needed to be brave when defending the faith.

Is there any second meaning to head butting a warderobe door? Is God trying to tell me something? I know I'm not that good at listening to him all the time, but this seems a little excessive...

I hope it doesn't bruise. At the moment it's just a cartoon style big red lump. What a way to start the week.

Jesus is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

Woohoooo!!

errm. I mean Hallelujah!

obviously.

Hungover without the drink

Hen dos. Random things. Ryan’s stag do was a lot more straightforward. At least on a stag do when someone compliments your errm… ‘assets’ you know where you stand (or look). I’ve never quite worked out how to react when a woman compliments them - Do you return the compliment? Does it become acceptable to stare? Or are you meant to be coy?

Apparently mine are apparently much envied so I think I’ll just enjoy the compliment without thinking about it too much!

Probably best not to say too much about the behaviour of everyone – except to say that it turns out that I really don’t need alcohol in my life to blend right in with the drunken people. However, as the main photographer of the evening there is no evidence to incriminate me. Jen is a bad influence, as is Charlie (but then, that’s not really news). I can’t say anything bad about Annette, as she’s my date for the wedding next week… ;-)

The theme of the night was ‘Married life – heaven or hell?’ so we were all dressed as angels and devils. Noone seemed to believe me that I am truly angelic and that the costume was just a reflection of the truth within, apart from the one comment of ‘well you do go to church so maybe you are more angelic’. Still chuckling to myself about that one.

Was a great night, but for someone who wasn’t drinking I seem to have a hangover. This is particularly unfair as Jen has already been on facebook to record that she doesn’t, and she’s normally under the table after one drink. My voice has also descended into a low growl - It’s probably due to the volume at which I was ‘singing’ along to the power ballads in the limo on the way home.

A good time was had by all.

The hen is apparently recovering well.

Skips.

Today I went to the pub for lunch. A colleague and I normally go every Friday, but tomorrow being a bank holiday meant that we needed to rearrange the day. We may not ever go again if she doesn't stop referring to my car share as my 'work husband' but that's a whole different issue.

I was happily sipping my lemonade when a skip lorry rolled up to the pub. From that point on I spent most of the conversation not listening to Clare at all, but looking at the way the lorry worked, how much space it needed and whether I could apply those factors and considerations to my detailed design work.

I'd say that I should get out more, but I'd probably end up watching more skip lorries...

I think I must be an engineer :-s

Worry

People worry about you, so you start wondering if they should be worrying.

You then worry that they can see something more than you can see in the situation – maybe they’re right after all and maybe you should be worried.

And the more you worry yourself into a mess, the more they worry, and the more of a mess they get into so you worry that they’re overdoing it and that it’s your fault because you’ve caused them to worry.

It’s all very worrying.

Maybe I should break the cycle and take all the advice given me in the last 24 hours – to eat nothing but fruit and veg, remember to take vitamin tablets, go home, to sleep, to listen to some music and to pray.

I note that work doesn't feature anywhere in the list :-)

me? a geek? huh?

Please find attached a link to Martha Freeman's myspace blog. If you don't know who she is then you should be ashamed :-)

I found it on someone elses blog (but not the gallifrey one forum, oh no - what makes you think I'm a member of that?) .

I should really develop a new hobby. Maybe one that even involves real people.

London

I’ve spent the weekend in London. It was exactly what I needed as I’m now back on full bounce.

Things started as they meant to go on Friday afternoon. Alice and I were due to meet at Paddington Station at 16:30. Now one of those things about Alice is that she has no sense of direction, mostly gets lost and is generally late. So I was a little worried when I got a text telling me that she thought she was going to be on time. If she got into town before I did then I’d never live it down.

Now, as you do when you’re going to be spending the whole weekend with someone it is normal to text continuously for the hour before you meet up. After all, you need something to talk about. Alice had decided that her train was supersonic and my timings were getting worse when I managed to get on a stopping train that was delayed. It stopped in all sorts of exciting places that I’d never heard of. I started to get worried that there were two Paddington stations and that I was going to the wrong one. Where was I going to end up?

I’ve never been happier to pull into Slough Station. At least I know where it is.

At about this point I got a text from Alice.

We're stuck behind a train in slough. Why anyone stops here is beyond me. ho hum. nap time, my old age is kicking in.

Alice’s supersonic train was stuck behind my painfully slow train. I was very much amused (which I might just have made clear to Alice, and the rest of the carriage). She was not so amused, but at least it meant that the laws of nature were not broken and that I was at the meeting point before Alice.

Only problem was that I was late too, thereby losing the moral high ground. You win some you lose some.


The rest of the weekend was great - went to see the Barenaked ladies with Alice and Seb on Friday (their last album was rubbish, but they still do a very good live show) followed by a drink to catch up with Seb. Very jealous that he gets to have occasional helicopter rides for work. Maybe there is something in this accountancy thing.

Saturday involved the Tate Britain. I’ve not been there since I was doing Art GCSE and it’s smaller than I remember. We spent ages wandering round and proved beyond doubt that Alice and I should not go to art galleries together. Things I liked were generally a little more abstract than her taste which seemed to involve pretty pictures.

And apparently the Victorians found this gallery incomprehensible. I’m with them on this one although I struggled with that whole gallery. look - Another painting where the sun has obscured everything else on the canvas. How innovative.

Some interesting exhibitions coming up though, so will probably go back to have more of a play. I can do cultured.